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The Nine Environments of Millionaires

March 28, 2008 Advice No Comments

At the beginning of the call, I heard Jim Bunch mentioning the most important point that will stick in my mind for a very long time.

“Surround yourself with the best of the best and you’ll produce the results of the best of the best.”

If you are into personal development, I believe that there is nothing new in that statement. However, Jim continued by saying that your “will power” is on only when you turn it on, but environments will stick with you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

If you managed to be in millionaire environments every second of your life, wouldn’t it make sense that you’ll stay millionaire or become a millionaire one day?

That clicked and made me want to know more about the environments Jim was referring to. In this article, I will briefly mention what the 9 environments of millionaires are as discussed by Jim Bunch.

1. Memetic Environment

Beliefs, ideas, knowledge and concepts are examples of memetic environment. They are intangible and very important because it starts with you believing that you can get what you want in life. You might ask “how to change your belief”. The answer is to change what you do and the result will change too. As soon as you see the results, you begin to believe. Think like a millionaire.

2. Relationships Environment

Family, friends, colleague and support personnel are in the “relationship environment”. This environment controls your behavior that causes you to think, act and feel in a certain way. As hard as it can be, sometimes you have to let go off some relationships in your life because they are not bringing in closer to your goals in life. Build a millionaire relationship with those who will always push you closer to your dreams and goals.

3. Network Environment

It is simply a community that you are in. This community has rules, values and beliefs on its own. You have to be extremely selective in choosing your network. Remember that millionaires network with millionaires. To identify if you are in the right network, identify the topics of your conversations when you are in your community. Do you talk about creating wealth, being a better husband or wife or simply the weather?

4. Financial Environment

This is the environment that causes people most stress. The problem with financial environment is that when you grew up, nobody seemed to talk about money. Soon you’ll realize that you have to manage your own money, investments and insurance, and you don’t know all of them certainly, especially once your wealth grows. This is the time when millionaires hire and surround themselves with specialists and mentors on finance. Millionaires have their own wealth team.

5. Physical Environment

Physical Environment revolves everything around you such as home, office and furnishings. Confused mind creates chaos and that’s what happens if your physical environment is not taken care of.

6. Nature Environment

Human beings require energy and you’ll feel a powerful energy from nature when you’re close to it. Have a jog in a gym and along a sandy beautiful beach and you’ll know the difference what nature environment brings you.

7. Body Environment

Most people are ignorant about their body environment. You have to treat your body like a temple, not a playground. That means you have to take care of your health because there is no point of having wealth without health. Health will suck the wealth out of your life.

8. Self Environment

Personality, personal gifts, talents and emotions belong to the self environment. You can’t see, smell or touch your self environment but you maybe able to identify them and make full use of your ultimate strengths. Use your self environment to match up with the world outside.

9. Spiritual Environment

It is your connection to higher source, love and self. If you are not in the habit of doing it, you’ll have to put yourself in the spiritual environment again. Change all your environments and you start to change your thinking.

Another important point is that you have to develop your own mastermind group so that you are always focus on your environments. Take seriously the 9 environments of millionaires above in the next 90 days. You will feel the difference in your life.

Zamri Nanyan is a team leader in the hottest and most lucrative personal development program on the Internet. Visit http://www.bekaya.com now for more details. For Jim Bunch’s free recorded audios, visit http://www.bekaya.com/jimbunch today.

I Don’t Like Your Attitude

March 28, 2008 Advice No Comments

People always fluctuate in their behavior from day to day and we all have had our times in which we acted rude to people, and had the pleasure of having the reverse happen as well. Kay Redfield Jamison an international guru of about mood disorders has had her share of mood swings during her times. For years she kept this extreme psychological disorder a secret in which she had moods that switched from being super excited known as mania, to times that she was lethargic and depressed. She actually wrote a book about these events and tells about it in more detail.

By the way, the disorder was known as bipolar disorder and effects many people around the world. With determination, a strong will, and support from her family and friends she overcame her struggles and continue to teach about psychological disorders to this day. I know that you’re probably wondering what are the types of characteristics of deviant or abnormal behavior? Well, one way abnormal behavior can be diagnosed is with some common symptoms. It may surprise you that there are about 40 million Americans that are affected by some type of psychological disorder. You may think of a psychological disorder as what the main character had in the movie “A beautiful Mind.” In essence you are right but there are a lot more other characteristics involved and a sychological disorder can also be defined by having an addiction to a substance like alcohol or drugs. To fully nderstand psychological disorders an individual must analyze abnormal behavior. Let’s take a look at three different case studies.

1) A twenty six year old woman named Helena has a need to walk in a specific way. When she is walking on the street in the public she believes that if she steps on certain cracks she will have bad luck, but in order to reverse that bad luck she has to turn around and walk back a block. She doesn’t like to do this much so she often stay home and pay people to go and pick up her groceries and other needed items.

2) A thirty five year old woman has recently got a divorce from her husband who she has been previously married to for eleven years and has two children with. Her husband have left her for her best friend and she is going back to college to continue her education so she can earn some more money to better support her children. She has a hard time struggling with school work and has grown separate from her friends and colleagues. A lot of the time she doesn’t feel like doing much and tends to cry a lot at nigh time. She also has a more pessimistic view in life and doesn’t believe in true love anymore.

3) A thirty year old man named Don has to have things arrange in his house a certain way. Even though he is wealthy enough to afford a maid he constantly has to rearrange things in his house after she leaves. He sweeps the floor and wipes off tables even though she has done that before.

Most people would say that the behavior of all of these individuals are abnormal, but are all of them bizarre? That’s a common myth about behavior, because people will automatically assume that abnormal behavior is bizarre and it’s not necessary true.
Take the women in the second case study described even though her behavior is abnormal it is not necessary bizarre. A lot of times people with abnormal behavior cannot easily be distinguished from people with normal behavior. Also, just because a person currently has a mental disorder doesn’t mean that they will always have it. The term abnormal behavior varies from different academic mediums. However, the federal courts define insanity which is more of a legal term rather than a psychological on as the inability to differentiae right from wrong. This is a very common term that comes up in terms.

One infamous example is in 1996 when multimillionaire John Dupont shot and killed Olympic Gold medalist wrestler David Schultz. He also has been charged with a couple of assaults earlier. Dupont lawyers used the “insanity” definition as a lame excuse to get him off the hook and it worked because in the end because the jury declared that he had a psychological disorder and he was found guilty of third degree murder. There are three criteria’s for crossing the line between abnormal behavior and normal behavior. Abnormal behavior is usually deviant which means it abstracts from the norms of society. However, remarkable people like Martin Luther King and Bill Gates are not the average person but they are far from being abnormal. When a behavior deviate from what is expected by society than it could be called abnormal.

The second criteria are that it is usually maladaptive which means that it interferes with a person’s ability to function properly in the real world. Last, abnormal behavior includes personal distress. This means that the person is deeply bothered by this and it causes them unnecessary pain and suffering. The causes for abnormal behavior can vary tremendously. We can look at several factors such as biological, psychological, and sociocultural factors to help determine this. Psychologists who favor the biological approach tend to emphasize the brain and genetic traits as the primarily cause of abnormal behavior. When using this approach the primarily form of treatment is drugs or drug therapy. The biological approach is used often in the medical model, which describes psychological disorders as diseases related to biological origins. From the medical view abnormalities are seen a mental illness. The people that are infected with the mental illness are known as patients and they have to be treated by doctors.

The biological view can also be broken done into three more categories. These are known as structural views, biochemical views and genetic views. The structural view thinks that abnormalities in the brain structure are the main lead to mental disorders. The biochemical view looks at the imbalances in the brain’s chemical structure such as neurotransmitters and hormones as the cause to mental disorders. In the genetic view they look at distorted genes as the main contributor to mental disorders.

While the biological approach focuses on inherited traits to be the main contributor to mental disorders, the psychological approach looks at the environment and the unconscious mind as the main contributor to abnormalities. This has three parts to it which includes the psychodynamic perspective, behavioral and social cognitive prospective, and the humanistic perspective. The psychodynamic perspective thinks that psychological disorders come from unconscious conflicts that can cause anxiety and a maladaptive behavior. The main contributor to deviant behavior in this approach is from early bad relationships. If an individual develops bad relationships with either offspring early on in their life than the individual will develop abnormalities. Sigmund Freud was the developer of the psychoanalytic approach in which it places more emphasis on what you can’t physically see. In the behavioral and social cognitive prospective they place an emphasis on the environment in shaping abnormal behavior. They believe that people learn behavior by observing those around them, through self control, through their beliefs in themselves, and through a variety of other cognitive factors which are the key to psychological disorders in this approach. In the humanistic perspective they place an emphasis on an individual’s freedom to do what they want and chose their own destiny and personal characteristics. They believe that psychological disorders come up when an individual fails to meet their own potential.

All of the psychological perspective focuses on the individual. The next approach is the sociocultural approach. This concept places a larger emphasis on the area in which an individual lives such as their family, neighborhood, economic status, and culture. For one example, they believe that a conflict between one’s cultures will be a contributor to a mental disorder in an individual. It’s not necessary the individual that has a mental disorder but rather to an unbalanced social life. There are also some gender effects in determining mental disorders. Women are more likely to have internal mental disorders, which are disorders that affect them inside. They are more likely to be effected with anxiety attacks, and moods of depression.

On the other hand, men are more likely to be effected with external disorders or disorders that are seen outward. Some examples of these disorders are substance abuse and moods of aggression. Many psychologists now believe that psychological disorders are universal which means that they are the same for people everywhere around the world regardless of geographic location or their social status. However, depending on the factors I just mentioned they do vary. There are also some disorders that strictly effect people of one culture, and here are three big ones that I’m currently aware of: Amok, Windigo, and Anorexia Nervosa. The Amok effect people of Malaysia and the Philippines and in this disorder and individual suddenly has a fierce burst of rage and anger and kill and injure as many people as possible before they are killed. This disorder is commonly found in males and the cause of this can be numerous of factors such as jealously, or losing a lot of money through gambling. Windigo is a disorder commonly found in Algonquin Indian hunters and is very similar to a horror story in which an individual is hunted and chased by a fictionist character and become bewitched such as by a bit of a vampire or werewolf. The hunter becomes worried that they will turn into a flesh eating cannibal and harm other around them.

The last disorder, I think that many Americans is aware of the last disorder and that is called anorexia nervosa and effects people of mainly Western cultures with a special emphasis on the people in the United States. This is an eating disorder in which an individual tries to maintain an unhealthy low weight through starvation which can ultimately lead to death.

Jeff Casmer is an internet marketing consultant with career sales over $25,000,000. His “Top Ranked” Earn Money at Home Directory gives you all the information you need to start and prosper with your own Internet Home Based Business.

Is Your University Degree A Fake

March 28, 2008 Advice No Comments

Straits Times journalist from Singapore, Lim Yee Hung reported in a newspaper article that he received two university degrees last week. One is an associate degree in Criminal Justice and the other is a bachelor’s degree in Journalism. It took him just one week to get both degrees. If university degrees are that easy to get, they are probably fake degrees.

He went on to say in the report that he got the associate criminal justice degree from Belford University and the journalism degree from True Diplomas paying a total of US$349 for the degrees excluding freight charges without any studying on his part or examinations to take.

He called Belford University’s hotline before buying the degrees and was assured that Belford University degrees are perfectly legal, properly accredited and accepted all over the world. In order for an applicant to qualify for a Belford online degree, the candidate must have sufficient ‘life experience’ or an ‘online equivalency test’ which can be done under one hour.

True Diploma have no degrees of their own to offer for they sell replica and imitation degrees from about 115 genuine universities including Ivy League universities such as Brown University and Cornell University. The degrees offered by True Diploma are certainly fakes and they tell you upfront about it.

When Lim received The Belford University degree, he found that it was very impressive. Along with the degree package were also educational transcripts with grades for each module. The university seal is embossed on the degree and looks authentic. How could there be grades and transcripts if tests and examinations are not taken?

The journalism degree though can be easily spotted as a fake. There are glaring misspelling and grammatical errors. For example, in his degree, December was spelt as Decemberf.

He reported that in the United States, fake degree scams are so rampant that the problem is seen as a national security threat. An audit in May 2004 showed that a total of 463 employees in the federal government had fake academic degrees. Some were even high ranking officials in sensitive positions with top level security clearance to boot.

According to fake degree mill expert John Bear, co-author of Degree Mills, fake degree mills are a billion dollar industry having sold thousands of fake online degrees and diplomas every week internationally.

Although some employers may check the qualifications of a prospective employees directly by calling up the university which awarded the degrees, this screening may not be effective against some degree mills as some of these degree mills provide verification services. Employers who called are told that the job applicant is indeed a graduate from that particular university.

However, not all college and university online degree programs are frauds. There are some great universities such as Harvard University offer online degrees.

So if you want to get an online degree, then it is prudent for you to do a thorough due diligence and check with your local educational authorities for the online university’s authenticity so that you will not end up with a fake degree by a costly mistake.

Chris Chew is a researcher. More articlesMake money education and
Phoenix online degrees

How Fear Impacts On Our Lives

March 28, 2008 Advice No Comments

Fear. It is something everyone has experienced at some point in time during their lives. Brief moments, like someone cutting in front of you with a car, a bully at school, even something as mundane as whether or not you’ve passed a class. They happen for all of us and for some of us, fear can be more than a brief moment, it can be an all consuming emotional disability. Everyone has experienced fear and most say it’s hard to describe. So, what exactly is fear and how does it affect us.

What is fear?

There are many definitions of the word fear, an emotion experienced in anticipation, to be uneasy or apprehensive, to have a profound emotion that is related to or inspired by a deity or high spiritual being. Fear can also be defined as a group of biological responses that occur during a situation that activates a human’s flight or fight survival response.

What ever the fear response is, it will fall into various categories. There are levels of fear, and degrees in which fear is felt. Fear can be everything from distrust of a person or of a situation. Many people feel that distrust is actually when a person has lack of faith or there is an absence of belief in a situation or in an individual. However, this is not actually the case. Distrust is usually a feeling of uneasiness or a subconscious twinge that let’s us know that something might not be right or that there is something that should be watched out for. It is a protective fear response.

Paranoia is another classification of fear response. This is used when a fear of something causes the individual experiencing the fear to change their behavior in extreme ways. The ultimate result of paranoia is classified as a phobia.

Finally, the classification of fear known as terror. This is an extreme state of fear, usually resulting from an overwhelming flight response. This can be caused but a situation or by coming across something that is a phobia or fear for the person experiencing it. In these instances, instead of just a radical change in behavior, irrational decisions can occur because the level of fear is so high that the chemical response prevents individuals from being able to make rational decisions.

How fear stops us from experiencing life

Have you ever known someone with glossophobia, the fear of speaking in public, all of us have it to some extent, getting up in front of a crowd and talking about something. Even those who are experts in what they are going to be discussing experience this fear in some fashion.

Someone with a strong case of glossophobia might be a wonderful speaker, but no one would ever know. They might have wonderful ideas, but this fear prevents them from speaking and getting those ideas across. Some people experience fear to such an extent that they become trapped in their homes, unable to leave because of the symptoms of fear they experience. Allowing fear to make decisions for us prevents us from enjoying and experiencing life the way it can be experienced. Because of fear, some people never travel by plane, or take long car trips missing out on visiting family, friends, and events and missing out on perhaps life changing experiences because fear stops them from taking part in the experience.

Steps for over coming fear

The first step is to identify the fear. What is it exactly? Then identify where the fear came from, an experience, faith based, or social based? All fear has some sort of situation or reason behind it. Now that the fear has been identified and the cause, the next step is to work out a plan. Depending on the type and level of the fear, it might be a good idea to seek professional help. Then face the fear and follow the steps. If you are afraid of dogs, start by visiting a dog park, work up to playing with puppies, then larger dogs. That way, the situations are manageable and time can be taken to work through the fear. Rushing through overcoming fears can often lead to an increase in the phobia or response rather than a decrease.

Some fear is good

Having some fear is healthy. Fear protects us. A biological response to a situation that could endanger life or progeny. Without fear, we would get into dangerous situations, and cause dangerous situations.

Conclusion

Fear is a natural biological reaction to situations that may prove dangerous, or it can be a learned response to a situation or event that happened in our past. It is important to identify these fears, discover their origins and over come them so that we can experience life to the fullest.

Kevin Sinclair is the publisher and editor of my-personal-growth.com, a site that provides information and articles for self improvement and personal growth and development.

Building Confidence By “Letting Go”

March 28, 2008 Advice No Comments

So many people are looking for that “big breakthrough” in their life-one big event that will push them right over edge from where they are, to where they want to be. The irony is, the more someone focuses on making a huge (often overnight) change in their life, the less progress they usually make.

Building real confidence is a process, not an event. It is true that people sometimes have a major shift at some point in their life (I’ve had a few of these myself), but most change happens gradually, in a very up-and-down fashion.

Think about the stock market: it is much, much higher today than 20 years ago. But the path has not been a straight upward curve-there were ups, downs, twists and turns all along the way. But overall, there was tremendous progress.

Developing confidence works the same way. The path is seldom a straight 45 degree line moving ever upward. It looks more like a graph of stock market results. Up, down and occasionally all over the place. But overall, you will see tremendous progress, as long as you don’t give up.

None of this is meant to discourage you, or make you feel that you cannot progress quickly, because you most certainly can. I only point out that persistence is necessary, because even when your overall direction is upward, you will still have days where the trend is downward. Everybody does. The key is to not define yourself by your worst days.

A mistake I must have made a million times was assuming that I was only as confident as my worst days. Today I see this as complete rubbish! We are NOT our worst days, and associating “who we are” with our lowest moments is a huge mistake. It blocks progress and reinforces the same old limiting beliefs we’re trying to eliminate in the first place.

So how should we view those “off days” we can all have from time to time? Easy–as just “off days,” and nothing more. It is not only unnecessary to attach a meaning to them, it is downright counterproductive. An off day is an off day-that’s all.

So why is it so tempting to attach some kind of meaning to every low-point in our lives? I suspect it has to do with the over-analytical mind and a desire to ‘control” our circumstances as much as possible. Assigning a meaning to our bad days is just another way of trying to control our situation, when what we really need is to begin “letting go.”

Learning to let go can seem scary at first, but all real change involves letting go of something-old habits, behaviors or even beliefs. And when we let go of the obsessive need to “control” outcomes, real change comes remarkably fast.

Jon Mercer is a personal development coach and author. He is the founder of www.ultraconfidence.com and trains individuals all over the world to “feel their own power.” Click here to learn Jon’s secret techniques for building confidence quickly.

Building “Trump-Sized” Confidence

March 28, 2008 Advice No Comments

Donald Trump didn’t get where he is today without confidence. He’s unapologetic and straight forward. He knows what he wants and he knows what he doesn’t. And whether you love or loath “The Donald,” you have to respect the clarity that he operates from as a leader; and make no mistake, he absolutely oozes confidence.

Trump’s confidence is a by-product of his relentless pursuit of his goals. He’s not here to further anyone else’s agenda-he puts Trump first. It is exactly this personality trait that causes some people to think of Trump as an arrogant, self-centered jerk, while other’s see him as a powerful, confident leader. So which side do you come down on?

The “Trump Test” (patent pending:-)

You can tell a lot about a person by their opinion of Trump. In a nutshell, people with lower confidence tend to see “Trump the jerk,” and people with higher confidence tend to see “Trump the powerful leader. It’s a very simple gauge to be sure, but the “Trump test” has proven accurate about 90% of the time in my experience.

And it’s not just Trump. People with lower confidence have a tendency to see all confident people as “jerks” to some degree. Sadly, this state of mind does not produce confidence in their own life. In fact, it’s as simple as this: “you will never be confident as long as you have a low opinion of people who are confident.”

Let me repeat that last statement just to drive the point home: “you will never be confident as long as you have a low opinion of people who are confident.”

Think about this question: what is your opinion of Trump, or more importantly, of all confident people? Do you secretly feel that they’re “arrogant” or “self-centered?” Dig deep-really think about it.

If you discover a personal bias against confident people lurking somewhere in your psyche, you have found the root of your confidence issues. And believe it or not, that’s great news-because once you have isolated the source of the problem, you are well on your way to solving it. Maybe you’ve heard the old saying, “you can’t hit a target you can’t see.”

So there are two important truths to keep in mind here:

1. How you feel about others determines how you feel about yourself
2. Changing your opinion of other people automatically changes your opinion of yourself

Here’s a simple exercise to begin changing your opinion of confident people (and yourself). Think of someone you consider an arrogant, selfish jerk. It could be Trump or it could be your uncle Joe-it really doesn’t matter. Now, right now, as you read this, change your opinion of this person. In fact, see this person as a good and confident person with healthy self-esteem.

Keep faking it until you make it!

Are you having trouble with this exercise? Does it feel unnatural to see this person differently? If so, there are several ways of making the whole process easier and more effective.

A simple NLP-influenced trick is to begin associating this person with something you already love (expensive Norwegian chocolate works for me). You are in fact, “tying” these two things together mentally when you begin talking about them in the same sentence or seeing them in the same setting. You create a strong association between the two, so that the feelings you have for one of them (in my case, great chocolate, begins to “infect” the other. The more real you can make this connection, by visualizing it for example, the more effective it will be.

Also, don’t forget the importance of asking the right questions. Ask yourself, “what is great about this person?” As you begin seeking out the good qualities, you will certainly find them, and your opinion of this person, and all confident people will begin to change.

Feeling better about confident people will cause you to feel better about being confident. In effect, you will begin ‘giving yourself permission” to express the confident person that is already inside you, waiting to break free.

Insecurity comes from the deepest levels of our minds-and so does confidence. Feeling positive emotions about confident people is the easiest way of boosting your confidence from the inside out.

“Whatever we appreciate, we imitate.”

Jon Mercer is a personal development coach and the founder of UltraConfidence.com. Click here to learn Jon’s secret method of building confidence quickly!

Dealing With Frustration - Practical Information

March 28, 2008 Advice No Comments

You’ve felt it before, right? Frustration. It’s different for everyone, but we have all experienced it - its irritation, that feeling, making you want to pull your hair out, scream out loud, or throw things. It comes up sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly building. Frustration has many forms and varying degrees to it but no matter what degree or form it takes, it is not a positive emotion.

As a negative emotion frustration does nothing but cause stress, make it harder to focus and harder to complete tasks. To help remove frustration, it’s important for you to know what causes frustration and have a plan for getting rid of it.

Causes of Frustration

Just about anything can be a cause of frustration - a project at work, getting stuck in traffic when you’re late, or having guests over and dinner not all coming out on time. No matter the situation, if you feel like you’re running around in a circle, that’s frustration. No matter what form your frustration takes, it will reach a point where you can no longer handle the situation or the emotion.

When that happens, there’s usually a point when you quit, give up, walk away and are left with the feelings that doing such a thing causes - regret, self-loathing, or self-recrimination. That means the next time a similar situation comes around, it doesn’t take nearly as much going wrong to cause your frustration as it did the first time around. That is definitely something you want to avoid. So what can you do to help over come your frustrations before they reach the point of no return and cause you to quit?

What you can do to overcome frustration - Specific steps

The first thing to do when you start feeling frustrated is to take a deep breath, and relax. Do whatever you need to relieve the stress. Meditate if that helps, or watch a favorite TV show, or perhaps listen to some relaxing music. Whatever you do, make sure you step back from the situation causing your frustration. Once you have calmed down, take a look at the situation objectively, pull out the parts that you know are working. This way, you can see past the parts that are causing your frustration and take a really close look at the whole picture. This will also help you to see possible connections that can lead to resolving your frustration.

Keep a log, or a journal, or online blog and list the positive things in your life. List your accomplishments. Did you finish a hard project for school, or work? Did you finally get that wall painted or that part of the closet cleaned out? Write it down and check it after a month. It’s a lot easier to get rid of frustration when you can see all the positives instead of the negatives. It might also show you where you need to focus more in your life. Wasted energy is a surefire way to make yourself frustrated.

Once you see where you are wasting energy, focus on what you want to accomplish, the ultimate goal of whatever project or situation is causing the frustration for you. Step back to get a clear picture and then ask what you need to change to make sure that the same situation doesn’t arise again. Ask yourself what you can do to prevent that frustration.

It’s very easy with any project to get wrapped up in it. So much so that you can no longer see the project itself and sometimes even lose sight of the part of it you’re actually working on, and nothing is more frustrating than that. Get rid of the clutter, step back to the most simplified form. Be aware there are multiple solutions to any problem. Being more open to other ways of solving a problem is a good way to keep frustration from entering into the situation.

When you get ready to quit because you just can’t take it anymore, when the frustration is at its peak, take action and refuse to give up by pushing through and you’ll gain back control. Be positive. Nothing is harder to do when you’re frustrated, but without keeping in mind the positive outcome you’re looking for, frustration will just control the situation.

No matter what situation you’re in, follow these basic steps to get rid of your frustration and make sure frustration doesn’t come back.

Kevin Sinclair is the publisher and editor of my-personal-growth.com, a site that provides information and articles for self improvement and personal growth and development.

How To Change Limiting Beliefs

March 28, 2008 Advice No Comments

The first step to changing limiting beliefs is actually to recognize that you have them. This can be very hard for people who have had a genuinely difficult life and have experienced adversities not of their own making. The idea that they are blocking their own good because of limiting beliefs can seem like another slap in the face. However, acknowledging the power of limiting beliefs to affect one’s life should not be taken as a criticism. If you are a human being, then you will have some limiting beliefs. Different limiting beliefs in their various combinations will affect everyone differently, but no one is immune. When we realize this, we don’t feel quite so lonely or attacked.

Limiting beliefs are beliefs that cause us to act and react in ways which limit our potential. However, unless people have done some inner work, they are often unable to identify their limiting beliefs if asked. This is because an unquestioned belief is considered a truth and not a belief at all. How then, can we shine a light on our limiting beliefs in such a way that we are willing to stand still and examine them?

The first step is to spend some time listening to your self talk. Don’t judge your thoughts and don’t try to change them; just observe them and listen for repetitions and patterns. Write down the things you say to yourself often. Don’t think about them, just record them. There’s no stress. Do this for a week and then go through your notes. This can be a very uncomfortable experience as most of us do not pay much conscious attention to our inner dialog.

The second step follows on from the first. Carefully examine your notes and highlight often repeated statements you make to yourself. You may be surprised how negatively you speak to yourself. Write these statements on a separate piece of paper leaving a few lines blank under each one. Write down the area or areas of your life each statement refers to.

The third and final step to discovering your limiting beliefs is to evaluate how these areas of your life are working. If you regularly repeat a statement to yourself that relates to an area of your life that is stressful, disappointing or simply not working on some level, there is a very good chance that your self talk reflects a limiting belief which is blocking your success in that area.

Limiting beliefs can have devastating effects on our lives such as creating poverty, preventing us from getting the job we want, keeping us lonely or keeping us fat. They usually reflect the profoundly deep “I can’ts” of life. Whenever you really feel that you just can’t do something, have something or be something, you are probably being influenced by a limiting belief.

Limiting beliefs are like vampires; they suck the life out of you. But also like vampires, they cannot exist in the light of day. Limiting beliefs can only exist because they hide in the dark recesses of the mind, unexamined. Once they are brought to light, they can be seen for what they are and they must die.

Once you have identified a limiting belief and acknowledged its effects on your life, you can change it. To change a limiting belief, it is most effective to work backwards from your desired result. What is holding you back from achieving the outcome you want? What do you think other people believe about themselves that allows them to have it? What do you think you need to believe about yourself in order to get the results you want? Once you have worked out one or more positive beliefs that will support you, you need to program them into your belief systems.

The first step to reprogramming your mind is to recognize that your limiting belief is a lie and the new belief is the truth. You must answer the lie with the truth. Whenever you repeat to yourself a negative statement supporting the old belief, immediately answer it with the truth. Speak out loud if you have to (hopefully no one will be around) and say “No, that is not true,” and then state the new belief. To give the new belief power, it is important to look for reasons why it is true. As your mind finds more and more reasons why the new belief is true, it will gain precedence and the limiting belief will have no power.

If you need additional help to defeat limiting beliefs, a biofeedback therapy such as kinesiology can be useful. If you know the belief you need to overcome and the belief you need to program, kinesiology and similar therapies can short cut the process. It is particularly useful in situations where the limiting belief has occurred as a result of trauma or strong emotion and has become locked in at a physical level, not just mentally. Biofeedback therapies use muscle testing to measure the body’s response to different beliefs and can help a person release damaging beliefs and set positive new ones.

Limiting beliefs are a part of the human condition. However, we do not have to hold onto them. Changing a single belief can have a dramatic impact on our whole lives. If we seek to discover and change all our limiting beliefs, each of us can totally shift our experience of life and become the person we were born to be. This is a gift no one can give us, but ourselves.

Kevin Sinclair is the publisher and editor of my-personal-growth.com, a site that provides information and articles for self improvement and personal growth and development.

Learn Meditation in 7 Amazingly Easy Steps

March 28, 2008 Advice No Comments

While meditation is an important spiritual element of major religions like Buddhism and Hinduism, it is used every day by millions of people who meditate purely for the health benefits.

Western medicine recognizes meditation positive, calming effects, with doctors advising patients who suffer from stress, high blood pressure and chromic pain to take a few relaxing minutes each day to meditate.

It is like a trip to the gym for your brain, by focusing the mind on a single thought or image, even for only 10 or 20 minutes each day, your body relaxes, the mind becomes clear, and stressful problems become easier to manage.

1) Why meditation has a measurable effect on mind and body

To understand how meditation works, it helps to understand how the brain functions. The largest part of the brain is the cortex, divided into left and right hemispheres.

The left side of the brain is usually dominant, controlling speech, logic, calculation and writing. The right hemisphere controls creativity, imagination and emotions. Researchers believe that when we meditate we create a connection between the two hemispheres.

When subjects hooked up to ECG machines meditate, researchers can measure the intensity of alpha waves and the brain waves when we are in calm, relaxed state which is produced while meditating. During meditation, alpha waves are far stronger and more consistent between both hemispheres than during other forms of relaxation, even sleep.

When the brain is in an alpha state, the parasympathetic nervous system takes over the part of the nervous system that conserves and restores energy, slows blood pressure and heart rate, and controls the digestion and absorption of nutrients by the body.

When the parasympathetic nervous system takes over, the high-stress fight-or-flight response which is accompanied by secretion of stress hormones like adrenaline, plus tension in the head, neck and lower back is overruled, and the body releases other, more positive hormones that promote relaxation and healing.

2) Proof that meditation works

Medical researchers have done a great deal of study into the benefits of meditation. Studies show it encourages better brain function, improved circulation in the extremities, increased cerebral blood flow and lower levels of stress hormones.

A 1987 found that people who practiced Transcendental Meditation made less than half the number of visits to doctors and spent 50 percent less time in hospitals than people who did not meditate.

There are countless ways to meditate, and you can teach yourself how to do it from, books, tapes, or via the Internet in a very short time. There are often classes available at local community centers, holistic health centers and even community colleges, as well. Among the most popular methods of meditation are:

a) Mantra meditation: A word or phrase which is repeated over and over, either out loud or in your head. You can choose a phrase that relates to your personal beliefs, one that is a positive statement, or a one-syllable word-sound like Om or Hum.

b) Breath awareness: You concentrate on rhythmic breathing, possibly counting each breath in and out, often breathing in through the nose and out the mouth.

c) Object meditation: You focus on a specific object, noting each detail of its shape, presence and color.

d) Active meditations: Using rhythmic movements, like walking, swimming, t’ai chi or yoga to focus the mind.

3) A simple, 7-step meditation anyone can do

a. Set aside 10 to 20 minutes, once or twice a day.

b. Find a place which is quiet where you are unlikely to be disturbed, and sit down. You do not need to sit cross-legged, or in any special posture. A comfortable chair is fine. Wear comfortable clothes, and arrange your arms and legs in a relaxed posture.

c. Set an alarm so you don’t have to worry about keeping track of time. If you are concerned that it may startle you, place it in another room or under a cushion, so the sound will be muffled but audible.

d. Breathe slowly and rhythmically, consciously relaxing your feet, legs, torso, on up your body until all your muscles are loose.

e. Choose a word to repeat to yourself. The classic mantra is Om, the Sanskrit word for perfection. Or you could choose a simple word that reflects what you hope to achieve in your life, like peace or happiness. You could also, instead, count your breaths from one to 10, then over again and again. If thoughts drift into your mind, allow them to float gently out again as you re-focus on your word or breathing.

f. When your alarm sounds and you have finished, don’t jump right up but allow yourself to slowly open your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and rejoin the world in a relaxed manner.

7. Stretch your arms and legs, and stand up slowly.

Most people who start meditation find they have trouble motivating themselves to meditate, and letting go of the Western tendency to constantly think, think, think about every little thing.

This is one reason why you might consider taking a class or using tapes. It can be valuable to have a guide to take you through meditation your first few times. Once you get the hang of it, you will find meditation is simple and effective. You can even move on to more advanced techniques as you find yourself progressing.

Tenzin is an accomplished author who has helped his readers from all over the world change lives and accomplish miracles. Download his long lost amazing book at Who Am I. Get your FREE, amazingly accurate destiny readings at Free Tarot Reading.

Stop Living In The Past

March 27, 2008 Advice No Comments

Whether we like to admit it or not we all are living today with some emotional baggage. While some may have more deeply rooted baggage that affects their day to day living we can all recognize within us those times in our lives which continue to affect the way we think, our view of our self worth and the way we interact with others around us. It might have been a time when someone told you that you weren’t smart enough, maybe someone commented about your looks or you made some bad choices. Whatever it is that baggage may well be holding you back from allowing you to become the person you are meant to be.

So what kind of emotional baggage are you still holding on in your life? Is it a small bag, a large suitcase or something in between. Whatever it’s size it is affecting your present life like a dark shadow that follows you around.

If you are serious about letting go of your baggage and beginning your new life without all the dead weight than read on.

Learn from the past and then let it go. If you ask most people who are successful, happy and fulfilled in their lives they would probably tell you that they wouldn’t change a thing about their past. The fact is that you are the person today because of your choices and experiences of your past. If you aren’t happy with where you are right now with your life chances are you haven’t taken the time to learn from your mistakes and experiences of the past. Why not pick up a journal and pen and start recalling all the times in your life that have stood out. It is our defining moments that we learn the most about ourselves. In reality there is no good experience or bad experience, there are all just lessons in life to help guide us and grow us as people.

So take a moment to write down every defining moment in your life, it might have been a time that your teacher praised you for your work that you put a lot of effort on, it might have the time your parents divorced, a rejection you felt from a friend. Once you have written down all those moments ask yourself what have you learnt from that experience and how has it shaped the person you are today. It is only when we learn from our past that we can then let that go from our lives. If we spend our whole waking lives being dictated by our past we don’t have an opportunity to look forward to shape our future. Imagine spending most of your time driving and staring at the rear view mirror, your bound to either crash or end up in a destination other than where you had intended. So look forward in your life and appreciate the person you are and the person you are becoming.

It’s no fun carrying around extra baggage. The reason we take baggage with us on holidays is so that we can bring along things that we will find useful or necessary for our enjoyment while we are away from home. It usually are things like clothes, toiletries and personal items. Once we reach our holiday destination though we are all to happy to check it into our hotel rooms so that we can be free to sight see without being inhibited by large baggage tugging around behind us. Isn’t funny then that many of us are often only all to happy to carry around their emotional baggage every waking moment of their lives like it’s something valuable that they don’t want to check it in and leave behind. Baggage over time can get quite exhausting and mentally draining when it is following you around every where it goes. Wouldn’t it be amazing if you could just decide to let it go and be free.

A great exercise to do this is to create a new future for yourself. It’s not easy to forgot about the past but what you can do is create a new past starting today. Decide today that you are going to live your life free from your baggage, that today you will start a new you and everything that has been holding you back you will not think or dwell on for this next 24hrs. At the end of the day you now have a new history that’s 24 hrs old. That is the new you. You then start tomorrow doing the same thing. Don’t worry about trying to change the future you someday, just focus on doing it one day at a time. Before long you will have created a new history of the person you are and the baggage will no longer have such a negative bearing on your life.

For more personal growth articles visit: http://www.personalgrowthunlimited.com

Say Goodbye to Struggle

March 27, 2008 Advice No Comments

Struggle is a common expectation in our society. We tend to plan for it, anticipate it, and invite it into our lives. It has become so familiar that we often push away joy or peace or harmony, declaring such experiences to be unreal or temporary or frivolous.

Many folks tend to feel more alive when they are struggling against something. Work groups and whole organizations are established to compete — a form of struggle — against something. War and violence are glamorized. Ill health is considered routine. Senility is the prospect of advanced years. Suffering is considered noble. Whether we struggle against struggle or resign ourselves to struggle, we are in struggle.

And so Now, to You….

Let’s move from the collective “we” and the impersonal “they/many” to you and your inner self and outer behavior. Consider how you struggle. Knowing how you struggle will assist you in replacing your pattern with different behavior. You may also find it helpful to reflect on what you struggle against, but I caution you about lingering there too long. It is too easy to fall into the trap of explaining or blaming the “what” against which you struggle. Your struggle is not about the other person or thing; your struggle is about you.

So pick something real in your life that you struggle against, just to give yourself a laboratory. It may be some little annoyance, such as a spouse’s dirty socks on the floor or wet lingerie in the shower stall. Or you may select something work related, such as a co-worker’s competence or an assignment you dread. For the purpose of this initial exercise, select an issue that you classify as a small to medium concern. Practicing on something real but not overwhelming will give you courage to explore something you consider a major struggle.

Bring this idea or issue into your mind and feel the feelings. You may find it helpful to close your eyes to stay focused on the task. What does the struggle feel like? What sensations do you feel in your body and where do you feel them? What emotions do you feel and how do you feel them? Hear what you say about this issue to yourself. What does the resistance/struggle sound like? What color is the struggle? How big or small is the struggle?

Identify all the reactions and signals and sensations and feelings and emotions that you can. Try not to deny anything that comes into your awareness as you read this. How does your neck feel? Your shoulders? Your stomach? Do you feel agitated or impatient? Do you want to do something else? Are you fascinated by the sensations?

How you respond to these questions suggests how you respond to struggle in other parts of your life. While you may want to believe that this is just a hypothetical exercise, it is not. It is a real exercise, one that can train your awareness and all the muscles in your being to choose responses other than struggle. It is helpful to know how you struggle if you wish to change your pattern.

Goodbye; Graduation

Often when I talk to people about “holding on” and “letting go” I experience their resistance. What variety! (And, yes, I experience my own resistance, my own brand of struggle, which helps me to speak with greater authority on the subject.) In certain situations in our culture we celebrate goodbyes or endings well.

Graduations are endings we tend to do well. Graduations are also recognized as beginnings. Yet, so too, are all endings! That is the point. When we say goodbye to something that we no longer want or need or when we say goodbye to someone who is ready to leave, a space opens for something or someone else. This is a process, not a linear sequential set of cause and effect steps. However, if you find it easier to perceive this process as linear, do so.

So, are you ready to graduate from the School of Struggle? If you choose to stay longer, you will continue to learn. That is guaranteed. Keep in mind, though, that you are likely to learn and re-learn and re-learn again the same lessons. Other schools await your enrollment. The School of Joy. The School of Peace. The School of Abundance. The School of Love. The School of Health. The School of Laughter. The School of Enlightenment. The School of Mastery.

Entrance exams are simple: Give up struggle for freedom, fear for love, illness for health, pain for joy, hopelessness for mastery, etc. Say goodbye to those experiences you have completed or to those persons whose relationships with you have ended. You will not be able to stay in The School of Joy if you hold onto struggle — you will be expelled or asked to take a leave of absence. Merely enrolling in The School of Love is not enough, you must practice unconditional love and not cut classes to get intimate with fear. You can stay in these schools even though you occasionally fail an exam or re-visit your old school. The principals/principles of these schools are infallible; the teachers, exacting and loving.

Goodbye Party

Our joyous goodbyes often prompt us to give a party, a celebration. We do this on New Year’s Eve: to say “goodbye” to the old year and “hello” to the new one. We do this for school graduations: to celebrate the ending of education in one institution and recognize the rite of passage to another institution or the military or the “real world” as we are fond of saying. We do this for retirements, sometimes accompanied by the gold watch: to honor the work place contributions and welcome the retirement years.

So, why not create a Goodbye Party for Struggle? You may prefer to have a Hello Freedom Party, instead. However, if you need to say goodbye or thanking something or someone who has been with you, focusing on the goodbye or graduation party will be useful. You will not be successful claiming that all is well or life is good while fierce anger or pain or unresolved issues are stuck inside. Let the unwanted stuff go.

If struggle has been your friend, give a going away party or a hello freedom party to celebrate the release of this energy. Thank struggle for being a teacher. Make the party your unique event: buy balloons or not. Celebrate your party alone or with friends. Let an object represent the struggle and release the object to the trash or a fire or the great outdoors. Use rituals that have meaning for you. Welcome in the new opportunity.

Goodbye, Struggle, goodbye.

Copyright

Painful Memories? Are You Suffering from Past Childhood Abuse?

March 27, 2008 Advice No Comments

As a psychologist and counselor in Cary, Illinois, I find that there can be up to 22 warning signs that indicate you are suffering now from the trauma of past childhood abuse.

First, what are these signs?

1. Exposure to serious physical, emotional or sexual mistreatment as a child

2. Memories of parents who were physically or emotionally neglectful resulting from their chemical dependency, chronic absenteeism, over-reactive tempers etc.

3. Childhood characterized by chaos, frequent moves, abusive spousal partners, frequent substitute caretakers, too many step-siblings etc.

4. Memories of emotionally repressive parents

5. Memories of parents or parental figures who were rigid, perfectionistic, demeaning, hypercritical, fanatically religious, substance abusers and/or threatening

6. Childhood memories associated with irrational fears, suppressed rage, low self-esteem, depression, identity conflicts etc.

7. The use of maladaptive coping mechanisms such as, multiple personality states, psychogenic fugue, amnesia, trance states and/or depersonalization

8. Avoidance of discussion associated with the traumatic event

9. Inability to recall important aspects of the abuse

10. Feelings of detachment or dissociation

11. Inability to experience a full range of emotions normally

12. Saturation with an angry or pessimistic attitude

13. Sleep and/or dream disturbances

14. Chronic irritability

15. Concentration impairment

16. Inexplicable pervasive worry

17. Short temper

18. Feelings of depression or despair

19. Abuse of alcohol or drugs

20 Transient or fleeting suicidal thoughts

21. Chronic conflict in relationships

22. Difficulty in functioning normally because of free-floating anxiety

If you experience any of these symptoms, it would behoove you to seek therapy or counseling.

But what will your counseling accomplish? How will it benefit you?

1. It should reduce the dysfunctional impact that the abuse has on your life.

2. You will be able to implement effective coping skills to fulfill normal responsibilities with less discomfort and begin to participate constructively in relationships.

3. You will be able to remember instances of the abuse without being overwhelmed by anger and anxiety.

4. You will be able to reduce the escape and denial behaviors prevalent in your everyday life and begin to implement constructive behaviors that promote healing and normal living

5. You will be able to fall asleep faster and not be awakened by disturbing dreams of instances of the abuse.

6. You will be able to replace negative, pessimistic thinking with constructive, self-enhancing and more optimistic thinking processes.

7. You will be able to implement anger control techniques to subdue your irritation and anger.

8. You will be able to eliminate any of your abuse of mind-altering substances

9. You will be able to implement relaxation training as a coping mechanism for the tension, stress and anxiety relating to your childhood pain.

10. You will be able to significantly reduce the resentment and futility which saturates your thinking about the past.

11. You will start seeing the future as hopeful and positive rather than bleak and depressing

12. Upon repeated re-telling about your dysfunctional past you will be able to do so increasingly with gradually reduced anxiety

13. You will start feeling a reduction in any of your vindictive feelings associated with the past. You will be able to use relaxation and positive imagery to reduce any anxiety or sleep problems related to the trauma

14. You will be able to identify and reduce any catastrophic expectations or headaches caused by the trauma

15. You should be able to approach previously avoided situations with much less stress.

16. You should have a thorough understanding of the results of abuse and be able to progressively reduce the negative impact of any relapses.

Dr Shery is in Cary, IL, near Algonquin, Crystal Lake, Marengo and Lake-in-the-Hills. He’s an expert marriage counselor and psychologist. Call 1 847 516 0899 and make an appt or learn more about counseling at: http://www.nextdayappointment.com

Why I Avoid Negative People Like The Plague

March 27, 2008 Advice No Comments

If you’re trying to make any sort of change in your life, to take your self or your business to a higher level, there’s a certain kind of person that you should avoid like the plague.

They’re the pessimists, the negative people who see life through glasses coloured with their own limiting beliefs and low self-esteem.

These are people who can never see the good side of things, who insist that someone or something is out to get them.

Who have so much self-loathing, that the only way they can feel good about themselves is by judging others. So little self-esteem that they end up pulling you down with them.

They don’t seem to understand that negativity and hate only breeds more of the same. And what you give out, you get back.

Some of them try to cover it up with arrogance, masquerading as over-confidence. I’ve met a few of these types, and I avoid them like the plague.

Why, you ask? Do I not want to help them? Well, yes. I used to feel sorry for them, until I realised that you can only help someone who WANTS to be helped.

And the pessimists don’t want to be helped. Because there’s a payoff for their behaviour. And that payoff is - not having to take responsibility for their lives. Not having to take action to drag themselves out of the morass of their mind.

So they continue being negative, pulling others down and feeling sorry for themselves. They justify their negativity as being realistic. And continue to attract more of the same. Then they wonder why they’re in the miserable situation they’re in.

And if you have someone like this in your life. Someone who always makes you feel worse, I’ll give you some very good advice.

Cut them off from your life! Right now! Because like a blood-sucking leech, they will drain you of all the positive feelings you have and drag you down into their miserable little world.

And if you happen to be a pessimist, here’s some advice for you. Change your attitude!

You can choose to think negative thoughts or positive thoughts. Guess which ones will help you grow?

You can choose to judge people or see the good in them. Guess which attitude will build better relationships?

You can choose to interpret life events in a way that disempowers you or one that empowers you. Guess which attitude will help you recover faster from tragedy?

You can choose to blame others or take responsibility for your life. Guess which attitude will help you take action and grow as a person?

Your attitude is a choice. Why not choose to make it a good one?

Priya Shah writes about self-improvement and women’s empowerment. Click here for relationship tips and advice.

A Helpful Life vs A Harmful Life

March 27, 2008 Advice No Comments

Which life do you lead? Do you consider your life to be productive or would you describe it as non productive to you and all around you. Both result from a chain reaction, one leading to a downward spiral and the other leading to an upward spiral.

Living a Harmful Life
What do you remember about your childhood, early adulthood? Is it failing exams, being told off for not going to school, failing your driving test, leaving your first job because you kept making
mistakes and thought they would probably sack you anyway….?
This perception of your early life can only lead to a negative self image. Your subconscious mind constantly focuses on these negative situations. When a new situation comes into your life, say you get a new job; your subconscious gets to work analyzing
this new set of information. It takes it apart and compares it to what has gone before.
“…only stays a maximum of 18 months in a job so will have to move on in a year or so. ”
“…had trouble with the boss in most past jobs so will havetrouble with this one.”
“…got on with colleagues for the first six months then relationships went downhill so will have problems with colleagues by the end of the year.”

Your subconscious mind does not rationalize - it simply takes the facts that have gone before and acts on them. In this case it sees a new job as something temporary and tells your conscious mind that you should expect all of the problems you have had
before.
This leads to a negative perception of your job. A negative perception leads to lack of confidence, lack of motivation and ultimately depression. What chance does your new job have - none! This will impact on your wider life making it harder and harder to get what you want in life - so you sink deeper and
deeper into depression.

Living a Helpful Life
What do you remember about your childhood, early adulthood? Is it playing with friends and siblings, holidays you have enjoyed, getting a mention from your teacher because you took an injured dog you found in your garden to the vet, getting your first
job…?

This person’s subconscious mind is very busy! Busy relating new situations to all the good things that have gone before! If this person decided to set up their own business their subconscious would be saying something like this:
“..Well this is new but I have been successful in my career so far so I will just use those skills and experience to succeed in my business.”
“..I will have to find new customers but that is OK because I have always been very good at developing customer relations.”
“..Once I am up and running I will need new staff but that will be fine because I have always got on well with the people reporting to me.”

What do you think is happening in this person’s life? Because they are focusing on success, they are looking forward to achieving it. This makes them feel motivated, which in turn leads them to take action. This action gets results so they feel more motivated (and happy!) and so it goes on.
Which life are you leading?

Sam Crowley is a best-selling co-author and motivational speaker.
You can see Sam’s home business at
www.defendyourdream.com. Sam’s mission is to create ten millionaires in the next five years

Help Me Overcome My Addictions

March 27, 2008 Advice No Comments

Dear DavidPaul,

I am having trouble letting go of an over the counter addiction and smoking. I really need God to guide me and strengthen me so I can overcome these things. Shari

“Greetings and blessings to you precious one. To want to give up the addictions you are speaking of is, of course, the first and biggest step. To know that there are things that you are doing that are not serving you is the most important awareness that can happen to shift addictions. At the same time it creates pain because you suddenly become aware that this is not something that is serving you, and yet you are still doing it. There is a time lag between the awareness that what you are doing is causing you pain and the inability to stop doing it. Know that once you get to the other side, there will be tremendous peace, and yet you can still have peace in this process knowing that your awareness has taken you to the first and the biggest step in changing something you are unhappy with.

“There will be a time when these addictions will be behind you and you will have the blessing of addiction in your experience and the strength and the confidence that comes from overcoming it. You will then be able to encourage and inspire others as well. This transition period is painful, confusing, paradoxical, and at the same time exciting and door opening.

“It is important to be patient, to be loving, and to be kind and accepting with yourself right now. Battling, fighting, and abusing yourself to give up something such as an addiction is not the best way, although it is often the most common way. Be patient and kind and know that for you, the more that you love yourself, the more you can let go of these things that do not serve you.

“Spend time each day consciously noticing yourself, admiring yourself, loving yourself, thinking about what it is about you that you like, that makes you special, that you want to share with others, and that you wish others knew about you. Focus on those things and experience them within your heart and mind. Experience the love that you have for yourself. You do have tremendous love within you, though for you it is just buried, confused, and doubtful at times. Underneath all of that, there is a very deep and abiding love that you have for you. That love is what will carry you through this process.

“The more you love you, the more you cannot do the things that do not serve you. The more you love you, the less room there is for anything other than that which is good. Spend more time loving you and there will be less room for these addictions. It is truly that simple. Eventually, you will run out of room within you to do those things that do not serve you. Love yourself and have faith that this day is coming.

“Blessings to you precious one, Amen.”

DavidPaul Doyle has been sharing the Voice for Peace and Love within him for the past twelve years. If you desire to receive ongoing Inner Guidance and Direction so you can fulfill your life’s purpose, visit The Voice for God to receive 30 FREE audio messages on how to access your own Inner Wisdom with confidence and clarity. Visit The Voice for Love to learn more about his work.

Should I Leave My Partner Or Should I Stick It Out?

March 27, 2008 Advice No Comments

Dear DavidPaul,

My fiance and I just broke up, and I need to know if this was the right thing to do or not. I love him more than anything else in the whole world. We were planning on being married in April. I just felt like he put himself above me in his priorities. He would make plans with me and then go play golf instead, or he would simply forget to call because something more important came up. I love him and miss him very much, but I feel like maybe it’s best for us to be apart until he can change this selfish aspect of his personality. Should I be patient and stick it out or move on? Nicole

“Greetings and blessings to you precious one. To say that this person has a tendency to be selfish and to have the idea that you can change his personality, or that he can, is perhaps not very realistic. What is more realistic in making a lifetime commitment to someone is to make a commitment to who that person is in their entirety, to accept the things about them that you cannot change, and even different than that, to accept everything about them as potentially something that can never be changed, that who you know and see before you now is the person you will spend everyday of your life with. It is important to marry who is standing in front of you today and to not marry them for who you think they will become or to not marry them for who you are afraid they might turn into. It is the one in front of you who is real and who you would be spending your days with.

“If you cannot live with the selfishness of this person now, it may only be magnified over days, weeks, months, or years in a marriage. Can you imagine yourself in this relationship with these tendencies multiplying over time? Or can you see yourself making peace with this and not having this person’s selfishness impact you? Are you strong enough to not be affected by this person’s selfishness? Or would you rather make a lifetime commitment to someone who does not have selfish tendencies? If this person is selfish with you, what will they be like with your family, your children, or over a lifetime?

“This is an opportunity for you to do some soul-searching. If you experience this person as selfish, in what ways does his selfishness make you uncomfortable because you are selfish? What kinds of things about yourself would you like to change? What types of things about you would you like to experience differently? In what ways would you like to be different in a relationship? It is important for you to focus on you and to focus less on this person, their flaws, and the changes that they should make. Take this time to focus on you. What shifts can you make so that you like you better? In doing so, you will come to like yourself in such a way that you will attract and keep someone who equally likes themselves and who is equally committed to knowing themselves and working toward being the best person they can be.

“Have faith that this process is one that is serving you in every way. Blessings to you precious one. Amen.”

DavidPaul Doyle has been sharing the Voice for Peace and Love within him for the past twelve years. If you desire to receive ongoing Inner Guidance and Direction so you can fulfill your life’s purpose, visit The Voice for God to receive 30 FREE audio messages on how to access your own Inner Wisdom with confidence and clarity. Visit The Voice for Love to learn more about his work.

Build Your Confidence By Changing Your Focus

March 27, 2008 Advice No Comments

Individuals sometimes look at confident people with feelings of awe and envy because they believe they are born with confidence. Others want to be like the confident individual since confidence is evident in everything they do and the way they act.

For those of us who want to improve their level of confidence there is good news; we are not born with a specific, unchangeable amount of confidence. Confidence is something that we can build up within ourselves, however, if we are not careful then actions and influences can result in our confidence evaporating.

Our confidence is increased when we achieve feats and when we receive support from individuals close to us. Confidence can be destroyed if we are attacked by others close to us, resulting in our being unsure of who we are.

Those who suffer from a lack of confidence will often find themselves feeling like they aren’t worth much and they often can’t find the right direction in their life. To reverse these feeling and start feeling more confident all a person needs to do is change their behaviours to be more positive and self-affirming.

The first thing you should always keep in mind when trying to change your behavior is that your individual personality is separate from your actions. You shouldn’t feel that your individual personality is a reflection of your mistakes.

Before you undertake any task you can build up your confidence by mentally preparing yourself for success. To do this you should tell yourself that you have something beneficial to contribute to others around you. Don’t ignore your feelings, particularly when they are linked to past events or mistakes you have made, rather consider those mistakes and the feelings they generate and learn from them when making your next decision.

If you are feeling unhappy or your confidence level is low then remember to focus on the positive things you can change. This will help bring your confidence level back up again. There are many negative events and behaviours in your life that you can change for the better.

You can create a more positive future by reflecting on your past mistakes, accepting and learning from them, and deciding how you would tackle the same circumstances again. You can learn and grow from the events that cause your confidence levels to drop reducing the risk of the same result happening again.

You can easily improve your confidence levels if understand that a lack of confidence is frequently the result of a fear of failure. Take chances and don’t let fear get in the way of accomplishing something wonderful, otherwise failure is the only likely outcome. By understanding your fears and taking risks you will enjoy something wonderful and increase your confidence levels at the same time.

Calculate risk wisely before taking it. While you don’t want to pass up a great opportunity you also don’t want to take a risk that is too great. When possible push yourself to a limit and just beyond so that when you succeed you know you have been successful despite your fears boosting your self image and improving your self confidence.

John Edmond writes on a number of topics including Building Self Esteem. To improve your self esteem and confidence go to the Resources Page to get your complementary ebooks and/or subscribe to Building Self Esteem 7 part email course.

Tips To Improve Confidence By Improving Self Esteem

March 27, 2008 Advice No Comments

Not many people take the time to actually think about the real meaning of self esteem even though they may think they know about it. It relates to specific parts of your personality and the way you project those parts creating your identity. It isn’t a alternative phrase for confidence despite what many people think. Attitudes make up the social context of your personality and to leave your mark on the world around you and be yourself require it.

The success of an individual often depends greatly on how they and others see them - their public persona. Those with high self esteem are often more motivated to achieve their goals and often go about it with a strong will. Often other individuals will be envious because it results in increased confidence.

If you find you are lacking contentment, satisfaction or energy in your life then this often means you are suffering from a low level of self esteem. Individuals often feel that they can’t succeed in life and have difficulty functioning as an independent individual. As a result of this mindset it can sometimes lead to depression and anxiety.

Many people in today’s world view mistakes as a shameful event rather than as a learning experience. You can build up your confidence if you regard your mistakes as a learning experience resulting in you becoming a more mature individual. To decide if your life is on the right path, or if you need to change course, is a consequence of analysing your mistakes. Consider your mistakes as a lesson that can teach you more about yourself rather than as an error.

To increase your levels you need to give yourself a purpose and to do this you should set goals to reach. Each goal should be something that motivates you and be something you have long wanted to accomplish. Once you reach your goals you will have a sense of accomplishment and this will help increase your self esteem.

In line with setting goals you should give yourself rewards when you achieve your goals. This way you can not only have personal satisfaction of achieving a goal, but you will also have something you can enjoy.

The fastest way to destroy your self esteem is through negative behavior or language. Always try to speak in positive language and use positive behavior. Show this positive attitude to the World even if you don’t feel it on the inside. In a real sense we are defined by our behaiour not our fears. If you act as though you believe in yourself your it will increase as a consequence.

John Edmond writes on a number of topics including Building Self Esteem. To help you improve yours go to the Resources Page to get your 6 complementary ebooks and/or subscribe to 7 part email course.

I Have a Secret to Share

March 27, 2008 Advice No Comments

Dear DavidPaul,

I have been through a lot over the last 3 years. I have divorced, suffered from cancer, and started a new relationship with someone I care a great deal about. One of my problems is that I have been trained professionally to be a very secretive person. I have kept things and told lies to this person because of my secretiveness. Needless to say, it has created problems in this relationship. I know that this is wrong, but when you are trained this way, it is a hard habit to break. Please give me some insight as to how I can break this habit. Thank you. Marie

Your request is to overcome the ‘habit’ of your secretiveness. It is one thing to say that your secretiveness comes as a result of the work you have done, but it may be true that you chose the work you did out of a desire to be secretive. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

In your case you have been protecting yourself and doing your best to avoid being hurt any more than you have already been hurt. You have created the idea that to be secretive, to close down, or to hide is the best way you know to protect yourself. This keeps you from letting someone in, and it keeps you from being able to come out. There is the fear that if one were to know you completely, they would not like you or love you. There is the fear that if you love or that if you are loved, you will ultimately be hurt.

There are many ways to experience life’s lessons. Every experience can teach you something, yet the same experience might teach ten people ten different things. If one reaches into their oven to take something out and they are burned, one person might say that reaching into a hot oven will cause you to be burned. Another person would say to use your oven mitts when reaching into a hot oven to prevent getting burned. Another person may decide that baking is dangerous and they give it up altogether. Some people might think that they had been stupid and deserved to be burned. You can see that the same experience can offer people many different conclusions. You have had certain experiences and based on those you came to believe that it is better to hide and better to not love or be loved. Those conclusions do not need to be your truths any longer.

If you think it is better to hide so that one cannot know you and have the opportunity to not like you, you also close the door to the opportunity for someone to like you for who you really are. The key here is for you to break the “habit” of not liking yourself and being afraid to love yourself.

Spend some time each day contemplating what you can do every day, what tiny step you could take that day toward liking yourself and loving yourself. Eventually you will look forward to the opportunity to be honest and to put yourself out there. Eventually you may go to the one you are in relationship with now and say to him honestly, “I am sorry I have not been truthful. I did not know that I was afraid that you might not like what you found and I did not know that I was afraid to love and be loved. I want to like who I am. I want to share that with you, and I want to learn to love and be loved.”

You have everything you need to be able to make that statement and mean it.

Blessings to you, precious one. Amen.

DavidPaul Doyle has been sharing the Voice for Peace and Love within him for the past 12 years. If you desire to receive ongoing Inner Guidance to fulfill your life’s purpose, visit The Voice for God or The Voice for Peace to receive 30 FREE audio messages on how to access your Inner Wisdom with confidence and clarity. Visit The Voice for Love to learn more.

The Secret Weapon Of Success

March 27, 2008 Advice No Comments

I don’t know if you remember, but when I was a kid my imagination was everything to me. I could spend hours being engaged in imaginary worlds. I remember how I imagined my tricycle to be a motorcycle; how I would ride it and in my imaginary world I was tough. My imagination brought me adventure, made ordinary objects special and most of all it made my life more fulfilling.

Unfortunately when we grow up we start paying less and less attention to our imagination. We often use such expressions as “Stop imagining” or “Get your head out of the clouds”. This point of view isn’t entirely without merit. Being grounded is important, but it is also important to use imagination to its full potential. Here are some of the benefits of using imagination:

1. Greater ability to envision goals.

We all know that planning is important. As the matter a fact it is so important, that you will not be able to achieve success, unless you have a clear goal you are working towards. Imagination helps you to give form to your goals, first in your mind, then in the real world. Without imagination we would not be able to envision where we are going.

2. Greater ability of understanding abstract concepts

In order to be able to grasp some of the more abstract concepts in our life, we first need to imagine them. In order to understand what love is we first have to imagine how it feels to be in love. This concept is so abstract, that a simple description will not do it justice. The only way we have to be able to grasp this concept is our imagination.

3. Greater planning and conceptualizing ability.

Any time we are involved in planning anything, we first have to conceptualize it. If we want to come up with a solid plan of action, we need to see it clear in our mind first, and then organize it on paper. Same goes for when we want to come up with a new idea or concept. The process is the same. First we envision it, and then we bring it into the reality.

4. Increased creative ability.

Big part of being creative is being able to use your imagination to its full capacity. We go through a similar process as conceptualizing when we create. The difference is probably that creativity is more of a stream of ideas and concepts, where as conceptualizing is the ability to give these ideas form. In both cases imagination is paramount.

5. Rich internal experience.

When we use our imagination often, our experience becomes rich and colorful. Imagination adds an emotional overlay to our often unexciting day to day life. By seeing the world through our imagination, we see it as if through “Rose colored glasses”. We need this kind of experience, and if this part of our life is lacking, we can often become unhappy and depressed.

To sum up our imagination is crucial to our success and the quality of experience we have. The best part of all is that all we need to do to develop it, is simply use it. The more we do, the more developed it will become.

Copyright 2006 www.BurstCreativity.com
Alexander Tretjakov
Unconventional Thinking University
Author of MiWay Time Management System
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10 Steps to More Money, More Health and More Happiness

March 27, 2008 Advice