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The Secret to Real Confidence

Sometimes the best secrets are hidden in plain sight. When it comes to developing confidence, there is one “secret shortcut” that took me years to understand, but it’s so painfully obvious that I want to kick myself sometimes for not being aware of it all along. The “secret” I want to tell to you about is acceptance.

Understanding the importance of acceptance requires a little creative thinking. It is important to remember that confidence is never an “all or nothing” situation. We all have confidence to some degree, but it is a fact that some people have much more that than others. It is also a fact, that no matter how low your self-esteem may be right now, you do have some confidence. So it’s a sliding scale, and just for the sake of argument, let’s say that the confidence scale goes from one to ten, with one being least confident and ten being supremely confident.

To further make this point, let’s say that right now your confidence level is a three on this scale, and your friend’s confidence is a six on the same scale. Now, it’s obvious that your friend is twice as confident as you, but at the same time his confidence level is still only a six out of ten, so it certainly could be a lot higher and your friend is very aware of this.

Now here is where the power of acceptance comes into the picture. Imagine that your friend, whose confidence level is a six, feels very bad about himself because his confidence isn’t higher. But let’s say that, unlike your friend, you understand that your confidence level is low, but you feel OK about that, and you’re not judging yourself because of it. In effect, you are saying “my confidence level “is what it is” and I feel perfectly comfortable with that.”

Now, who is going to be perceived as being more confident, you or your friend? YOU ARE! Every single time. Because if you accept your confidence level (no matter what it is) and are perfectly comfortable with it, you are going to come across as much more confident than your friend who does not accept his confidence level. You see how this works?

Another way of saying this would be, no matter what your confidence level is, accepting it and being comfortable with it will instantly make you more confident! Are you having an “aha” moment yet? I know I did when i first began to really “get” this idea. And the irony is, this is such a simple idea. Nevertheless, I overlooked this critical point for many years. Maybe you have too…

But once you understand the importance of acceptance, you can use this knowledge to immediately boost your confidence. All you need to do is begin where you are right now and make it a point to accept your current situation and your current level of confidence. Do NOT feel frustrated with yourself or your situation. Begin with a good feeling about where you are right now at this very minute. After a day or two of thinking this way, you will definitely notice a difference. When you begin any confidence building program from the point of view of acceptance, you are certain to see greater results in less time.

But be warned, if you begin trying to make changes in your life from a position of frustration, or self disapproval, you will find it much more difficult to create the results you want. Find a way to make peace with yourself and your situation where you are right now. Remember, the key to the whole thing is to start by accepting yourself just as you are right now. You absolutely can do this, and it WILL make a difference. Every single time.

Jon Mercer is a personal development coach and the founder of UltraConfidence.com. Click here to learn Jon’s method of building real confidence quickly!

Focus and Concentration Tips: How to Make Your Mind Stay on Track

Gaining focus and maintaining concentration on school, work, or whatever your goal is quite a challenge for most people. Both things however are important if you wish to attain your objectives efficiently and effectively.

Know What You Want.

It is impossible for you to gain focus and concentration if you do not know what you want. Be as specific as possible when describing your goals to yourself. If you know exactly what you want, the better you will be able to focus and concentrate on getting what you want.

Multi-Tasking Are for Computers

And you are not a computer, are you? Since you are not, then do not expect your mind to be able to work like one. Even Einstein had to concentrate on the nuclear bomb exclusively before moving on to something elseless dangerous.

If you wish to be able to accomplish your goal, you need to take things one step at a time.

Divide, Organize, and Conquer.

In relation to doing things one at a time, the best way to gain focus and concentration is by dividing a huge task into smaller sections. Then, you can focus and concentrate on accomplishing one section after another. If you have a project to work on, divide it into sections such as planning, gathering for resources, implementing the changes, and so forth.

If you do it that way, the next thing you know you have already completed the task way before the time allotted for you.

Expect Resistance.

Life is never smooth sailing for anyone in this world, not even for Bill Gates. As such, be prepared beforehand to encounter resistance of sorts to completing your goals. Distraction comes in all shapes and sizes, so it could be anything that would threaten your focus on concentration.

Knowing however that there will be an obstacle to overcome will already help you conquer whatever challenge you are facing and resume your focus and concentration.

Gaining Focus and Concentration Takes Time.

Do not fool yourself into thinking that you will gain instant success the first time you try to follow these tips. Sure, it is possible for that to happen but it is even more possible that it will not. If you have trouble gaining focus and concentration, do not feel worried and give up immediately because what you are going through is normal.

As time passes however, you will see that gaining focus and concentration gets easier every time.

Focus and Concentration are not for Free.

You will always have to give up something to make room for something better. In this case, the price of focus and concentration may just be about anything but its most probably the one thing that causes you the most distraction.

For some, it could be using the telephone during work hours while for some it is their inner struggle for self-confidence.

Do Today What You Can Do Tomorrow.

In simple terms: avoid procrastinating. The earlier you start working on your goals, the better you will be able to gain focus and concentration. If you leave things too late, you will end up being stressed, pressured, and bothered by the ticking deadline. If you work early on the other hand, you will be more able to focus and concentrate because there is nothing else to worry about except to get the job done.

Once you do develop the right habits to be able to gain focus and concentration easily then do not take your ability for granted. Practice, practice, and practice some more!

Be the ideal person you have always dreamed of becoming! Learn how to acquire any trait (happiness, patience, courage, focus) you desire to possess, attain good health and prosperity, and be in total command of your life at the authors website at: http://www.command-and-master-emotions.com

Spiritual Growth: the Spiritual Challenge of Modern Times

To grow spiritually in a world defined by power, money, and influence is a Herculean task. Modern conveniences such as electronic equipments, gadgets, and tools as well as entertainment through television, magazines, and the web have predisposed us to confine our attention mostly to physical needs and wants. As a result, our concepts of self worth and self meaning are muddled. How can we strike a balance between the material and spiritual aspects of our lives?

To grow spiritually is to look inward.

Introspection goes beyond recalling the things that happened in a day, week, or month. You need to look closely and reflect on your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and motivations. Periodically examining your experiences, the decisions you make, the relationships you have, and the things you engage in provide useful insights on your life goals, on the good traits you must sustain and the bad traits you have to discard.

Moreover, it gives you clues on how to act, react, and conduct yourself in the midst of any situation. Like any skill, introspection can be learned; all it takes is the courage and willingness to seek the truths that lie within you. Here are some pointers when you introspect: be objective, be forgiving of yourself, and focus on your areas for improvement.

To grow spiritually is to develop your potentials.

Religion and science have differing views on matters of the human spirit. Religion views people as spiritual beings temporarily living on Earth, while science views the spirit as just one dimension of an individual. Mastery of the self is a recurring theme in both Christian in Western and Islamic in Eastern teachings.

The needs of the body are recognized but placed under the needs of the spirit. Beliefs, values, morality, rules, experiences, and good works provide the blueprint to ensure the growth of the spiritual being. In Psychology, realizing ones full potential is to self actualize. Maslow identified several human needs: physiological, security, belongingness, esteem, cognitive, aesthetic, self actualization, and self transcendence. James earlier categorized these needs into three: material, emotional, and spiritual. When you have satisfied the basic physiological and emotional needs, spiritual or existential needs come next. Achieving each need leads to the total development of the individual. Perhaps the difference between these two religions and psychology is the end of self development: Christianity and Islam see that self development is a means toward serving God, while psychology views that self development is an end by itself.

To grow spiritually is to search for meaning.

Religions that believe in the existence of God such as Christian, Judaism, and Islam suppose that the purpose of the human life is to serve the Creator of all things. Several theories in psychology propose that we ultimately give meaning to our lives. Whether we believe that life is meaning is predetermined or self directed, to grow in spirit is to realize that we do not merely exist. We do not know the meaning of our lives at birth; but we gain knowledge and wisdom from our interactions with people and from our actions and reactions to the situations we are in. As we discover this meaning, there are certain beliefs and values that we reject and affirm. Our lives have purpose. This purpose puts all our physical, emotional, and intellectual potentials into use; sustains us during trying times; and gives us something to look forward to a goal to achieve, a destination to reach. A person without purpose or meaning is like a drifting ship at sea.

To grow spiritually is to recognize interconnections.

Religions stress the concept of our relatedness to all creation, live and inanimate. Thus we call other people brothers and sisters even if there are no direct blood relations. Moreover, deity centered religions such as Christianity and Islam speak of the relationship between humans and a higher being. On the other hand, science expounds on our link to other living things through the evolution theory. This relatedness is clearly seen in the concept of ecology, the interaction between living and nonliving things. In psychology, connectedness is a characteristic of self transcendence, the highest human need according to Maslow. Recognizing your connection to all things makes you more humble and respectful of people, animals, plants, and things in nature. It makes you appreciate everything around you. It moves you to go beyond your comfort zone and reach out to other people, and become stewards of all other things around you.

Growth is a process thus to grow in spirit is a day today encounter. We win some, we lose some, but the important thing is that we learn, and from this knowledge, further spiritual growth is made possible.

Francis Lua
Find out more information at
at my website which is at http://www.selfimprovementsuper.com

Your Dark Side

-If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.-
Jesus Christ, the Gospel of St. Thomas

Now I am going to talk about something that is the last thing that you would want to talk about. Your dark side (notice I didn’t say I would talk about mine!

The darkness we have within us is what psychologist Carl Jung calls our shadow. A person may consider these aspects of them self bad, evil, or unwanted. After all, that is what darkness is right?

The archetypal belief that dark equals evil makes it difficult to gain power from the darkness within. For if you do, then social ideas about right and wrong, good and bad can restrain your passions and deepest inspirations.

The purpose of my writing today, is to ask you this question: What is it that you might have locked away inside of you that you would not like it to see the light of day? These are the very things that properly cared for and nurtured could be the source of some of your greatest power.

Only to discover them you must venture with light into your own darkness. This is a task that naturally we are not inclined to do.

-Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.-
Carl Jung

In my case, In 2003 I uncovered by looking inside that I have a businessman and financier locked in my inner depths. Even though I was successful in many ways in business, and had already helped many people to dramatically increase their success in business and finance, I myself struggled as a business person to achieve the full measure of what I knew I could accomplish.

Earlier in my career I abandoned the budding businessman that started out so promising as a child and teen. I began to think of myself as an artist. As the years went on and I pursued art my inner knowledge of business kept trying to rise up and help me and as much as I allowed it I also pushed it away. I started to suspect that I was repressing and distorting my own personal attitudes about money and business.

In trying to unlock my own business and financial powers to a greater extent, such as I have done for numerous clients over many years, I went down into my own inner depths and discovered that I had the belief that I hated the money system. This unconscious belief that the money system is evil I uncovered within me even though I was actually working to gain more money and do good things with it-do you see how valuable it can be to uncover your inner beliefs and re-align them to your conscious desires? Do you see how my inner belief that money is evil would contradict my ability to make more money?

There is a way to correct this. You get in touch with what is happening now in your life, and your transform it into what you imagine is better.

I discovered that I thought the things that happen in the world because of money are horrible. I thought a world that runs on money is not a place that I want to live and I would rather die than live in such a world. The kind of life that I manifest from those unconscious beliefs does not generate living a healthy life and meeting the financial and business goals that I have consciously.

I was living in conflict with myself. My every conscious step was being dragged by certain of my inner unconscious beliefs.

I discovered those beliefs, and many others are surrounding the business man and financier that I had locked up deep in my inner darkness. He manifested as partners that I struggled with, or business situations that turned against me.

I need him healthy and functional! Yet I was keeping him restricted and imprisoned.

Do you get the idea? I really valued the healing process of digging out my inner businessman and financier, and freeing him from the prison that I have put him in jailed by my own beliefs. I am still doing this work with this aspect of myself with more and more success.

Perhaps you wonder why a “success coach” would share this personal story with his associates, such as you who are reading this article!!

I am sharing this because ultimately this process of uncovering and healing what is in the dark places inside is extremely valuable. I want you to be able to do this for your self.

I wanted to show you by personal example that we can do healing work on those aspects of self that we fear and dread. I felt that to write this article, I chose to be the example, in the hopes to inspire you to do what you will not do, to go inside and put light in your darkness. To gain power for yourself, to live a better life.

How could I ask you to go into your inner darkness and heal yourself without being willing to do so my self?

It may well be that these hidden areas within you, need to be healed. It may be that they need to be expressed. It can be difficult and dangerous work.

You are a whole person alive with a transcendental goodness in your deep spiritual being that is able to transform the power of the things that make you unhappy about yourself or about the world -into happiness and all that your heart desires.

You need all your energies to manifest a life that you usually only dream about, and to then live it fully. You need the energy that you may have secretly locked up behind the iron bars of beliefs and attitudes, thoughts and feelings, choices and decisions that makes you feel bad and that operate within you outside of your full conscious awareness or control. Transform what makes you unhappy, into what makes you happy.

Within youis where the power comes from that you need to have all your dreams come true.

It is a lot to ask for, to have all your dreams come true. There is an art and a science to making it happen, you need all the help you can get, and you need all of your power to do it. You can do it. And as you do it, I imagine you to have lots of results to inspire you along the way, and I imagine your journey to total satisfaction in all areas of your life to be a fast one that starts today.

You can take your time once you get to the best life that you can imagine for yourself. Until then I urge you to make the inner journey and uncover the power of your dark side by using the light of your consciousness to love and accept even those parts of you that now you do not love or accept.

Jorj
Elprehzleinn is a happy spiritual being having a human experience
in the material world. His
techniques, insights, and assistance in the right use of thought and
mind power are based on a lifetime of research and personal experience.

How To Remove Your Pension Worries - For Good…

To most of us, retirement was that much sought after reward of peaceful tranquillity that we were to be automatically rewarded after a long, hard life of toiling for companies or government-controlled organizations.

In reality these days, nothing could be further from the truth.

Imagine getting up one morning in the middle of winter, bus pass in one hand, and pension book in the other, to the grim reality that instead of having a regular monthly income that just about covered your outgoings, that income had been replaced by the very generous handout from the State laughingly called a pension.

Wow,

The Focus Factor

There’s a thing called autosuggestion, and by regularly reviewing the details of your goals, you’re doing it. When you give your goal the focus factor, you visualize it and firmly plant an image of achieving this goal into your sub-conscious mind. You’ve made a massive deposit into the vault, and now it’s going to start vibrating, attracting results that will bring it to fruition.

Make this process work more efficiently by rewriting this goal in great detail every day for a month. Use your Vision on Demand technology to visualize it, and turn it over and over in your mind, adding in all of the sensory details. What are the sounds, sights, smells, tastes, feelings of achieving this goal? Give your goal the focus factor daily, because doing this is like fertilizing the seed you’ve planted. Keep the weeds away by rejecting thoughts that contradict your goal. Protect it. You don’t want to parade your dream in front of people who don’t get it, and don’t support your efforts. They’ll spray their toxic beliefs all over you, and you’ll have a harder time if you allow yourself to be exposed to that.

By getting your goal crystal clear in your mind, down to the smallest detail, and by visualizing yourself as already having achieved it, you put yourself into a great vibration. You need to understand that by doing this, you have your success already, in your mind and your emotions. All that separates you from having it physically is time. How much time? Just the right amount and probably less than you’d imagine. How will it happen? The how will appear if you stay focused on the what of your goal.

There will be days when your goal seems impossible. If your goal is big enough, you’ll run into obstacles. Most obstacles are big enough to stop most people in their tracks. You’ve got to want your goal badly enough that you won’t let go. The emotional ups and downs of going after something big are just part of the journey, you learn to course-correct, to find more effective ways to go for it.

Your job is to take massive, meaningful action in the direction of your goal. Carry your goal with you on an index card. Just knowing it’s with you, just touching that card in your pocket is enough to remind and recharge you. Focus on your vibration and your actions rather than results, focus on your vision. Keep walking, running toward your goal day after day.

Andrew Cocks and Terry Zambri are Certified Bob Proctor Life Success Consultants and Network Marketing Coaches. Their new FREE book, The Life Success Factor, combined with their exclusive 3 step marketing system is creating massive success for their team. Visit: http://www.TheNetworkMarketingCoach.com

Winners Work With Coaches

Coaching is, by far, one of the most effective and efficient ways to move ahead to success. Winners choose to hire a coach because they’re ready, ready to succeed, ready to make their dreams a reality. They know that professional coaches can help them see their goals become reality more quickly, with a lot less stress and strife, and with results that are even better than they ever imagined.

What do you really want, anyway? Seems like a simple, innocent question, right? Yet lots of coaching clients start with this as their biggest puzzle. How can you work toward a goal you don’t really have? Your coach has seen this a million times, and will work with you to discover what you really want, if you don’t already know. Chances are that you want more than one thing. Your coach can help you prioritize your goals and create an action plan before you get moving. Coaches also help you see what potential obstacles lie in your path, and help you formulate a strategy to move past them as they arise.

Nothing gets past your coach, and this works in your favor, too. Your coach will hold you accountable to doing what you say you’re going to do. This is really important because of how much easier it is to talk the talk than to walk the walk. Talk is cheap, and your coach is there to make sure you take every action you decide to take.

Why doesn’t everyone have a coach? Well, most people who don’t have a coach don’t “get it” and don’t understand the value of personal coaching. Some think they can’t afford to hire a coach. They look at the price tag and compare it to their bank account; they do the math and say, “Nope.” That’s their biggest mistake, basing their decision on where they are right now. Coaching is a profession that’s experienced huge growth over the past few years. Coaches don’t stay in business long without having measurable success with their clients. If a coach has been around a while and can show how they’ve helped others, you can bet they know their stuff.

In fact, if you do some research, you’ll find testimonials from clients who’ve experienced a return on their coaching investment of more than 100%. That’s the report across the board. You’ll hear clients say, “It was the best money I ever spent. I wish I did it sooner.” It’s a way of putting your money where your mouth is, a way of anchoring yourself to your success plan.

Are you holding off on hiring a coach because you think the timing isn’t right yet?. Or are you waiting for the stars to align, and your life to be in perfect order first? Chances are, your life will never be less busy, have less pressure, responsibilities and obligations. Are you going to let your life get in the way of your dreams? Your coach doesn’t have the power to stop the clock, but can definitely help you find more time. You’ll learn how to wring the most out of every moment, both in your business pursuits and personal life. You’ll find yourself more effective, more present, and more efficient.

You might wonder whether hiring a coach is the best possible use of your money. I mean, isn’t it the same, just reading a good self-improvement book? You can put that info to use on your own, right? Yes and no. Books are great, they help you open your mind to new, more helpful ideas. They give good information. But, they fall short in one area. No book can magically bring about the results you want. Having information is necessary, but not sufficient to achievement. Only consistent, massive action moves you along the path to success.

You may believe that if you just work harder, you’ll succeed, with or without a coach. Good luck with that! You may succeed, of course, but at what cost? You can trade your every waking moment for money, work like a dog, and never take a break, but you’ll be left with calloused hands, a drained brain, and a family and friends that don’t even recognize you. Your coach specializes in helping you work smarter rather than harder. You’ll learn how to eliminate activities that aren’t helping you, how to make space in your life for what really matters, and to align your priorities with your calendar. Companies spend millions to hire efficiency experts, you’ll get the same benefit for pennies on the dollar.

Andrew Cocks and Terry Zambri are Certified Bob Proctor Life Success Consultants and Network Marketing Coaches. Their new FREE book, The Life Success Factor, combined with their exclusive 3 step marketing system is creating massive success for their team. Visit: http://www.TheNetworkMarketingCoach.com

Decision Making Is Your Key to Success

Say you want to make a change in your life. What do you do?

Will simply wanting to change your life someday make it happen?

Probably not.

Will putting that wish in writing make it happen? Maybe, but probably not.

To make a significant change in your life, you’ve got to go about it the right way, or else it will fall by the wayside like a wish to start your own business, stop smoking, or learn another language. There’s a world of difference between wish making and decision making. Decision making is your key to success.

The word decision actually means to cut off all other options. That’s pretty decisive. For many different reasons, some people have a really hard time with decision making.

Maybe they’re afraid they’ll get themselves into a bad situation with no way out. Maybe they fear they’ll fail, so they don’t even go for it. Maybe they’re worried about what other people will say.

Even though many people would certainly say they wish they could make more money, be happier, get along better with others, get in shape, or live in a healthier way, for most people, it’s always just a wish. Moving from wish to decision is crucial for anyone who wants to make a big change.

We make decisions all the time, whether we’re aware of it or not. Some decisions are made in auto-pilot mode, and that works well in some cases, but not in others.

When you engage in a bad habit, you’re making a decision to continue self defeating behavior. When you engage in positive behavior, you decide to do that, too.

We make decisions based on our thoughts and emotions. Then our decisions bring about our actions, and our actions bring about results.

So how do you do what you need to do? You start with a committed decision. What do you want? How do you plan to get it? What’s involved, what’s required of you in order to move forward toward your goal?

One decision you make stays the same during the whole journey toward your dream, that decision is your goal, what you’re aiming for, what you want.

On the way there, you’ve got a host of decisions to make, too. Each day, you decide what attitude you’ll have, what you’ll do with your time and energy, how you’ll talk and think about your goal, what tactics you’ll engage to move forward. Each decision you make automatically cuts off lots of other options.

One of our clients, Pam, decided to start a Network Marketing business last year. She decided that within a year, she’d be at the level where she’d get paid to drive a white Mercedes-Benz.

She decided that she’d build her business by building a team of other motivated consultants. She decided that she’d do whatever it took to get to her goal, even if it felt uncomfortable. She’d do it even if it felt hopeless. She’d do it even if she didn’t feel like it.

Each day, as she got ready to work her business, she knew what to do. This is because her decision determined her to do list.

She’d cut off her other options, it wasn’t an option for her to spend the day watching reality tv. It wasn’t an option to quit after ten people in a row said, “No thank you.”

Now, a year later, she’s right on the edge of qualifying for that car! If she’d been wishy-washy all along, she’d probably have quit. Making a decision and sticking with it has been her key to success.

Andrew Cocks and Terry Zambri are Certified Bob Proctor Life Success Consultants and Network Marketing Coaches. Their new FREE book, The Life Success Factor, combined with their exclusive 3 step marketing system is creating massive success for their team. Visit: http://www.TheNetworkMarketingCoach.com

Learn To Have Confidence With Men

Interacting with the opposite gender can be lots of fun. It can also, from time to time, be a hair-pulling experience.

Bottom line is this: we think differently, process information differently, and whether liberal or not, society holds different expectations for each gender.
So, as much as we’d like to operate in a gender-distinction-free world, we don’t.

Given this, how can you develop confidence with men?

First, some prerequisites to confidence in general:

Strong sense of self-Know who you are, and what’s important to you Self-acceptance-Love yourself-truly!
Manage your boundaries-What are they? Define them? What can people no longer do to you? What’s your response when they violate them? Assertiveness-Say what you mean, and mean what you say always! Don’t back-off just because someone else is laying the guilt trip,or intimidating you(there are other articles on this site addressing the above)

Now, let’s talk about confidence in the context of friendships/relationships with men.Get clear on what’s important to you in your friendships and relationships:

Have a clear understanding of your values, interests, and boundaries. Write down what’s important to you, communicate them, and expect everyone around you to respect and honor those things. Get that there are differences, but that the similarities often outweigh them:

Hormones, chromosomes, and life experiences all result in the subtle, and not so subtle differences between men and women.You may want to ask your male friends for their perspective regarding what they think are some differences, and how they interpret them. But remember, that above all we are all human therefore we share many basic needs, interests and emotions!

So, after you get over his manly attraction, shift focus and see him as just another person. Remember that Gumby was single:

Of course, all relationships require some degree of flexibility. But, the key here is this: don’t try to bend and shape yourself based on what you think men want. Be yourself, and you will find someone who values you as you are, without the backache. Reflect on what’s important to you, and figure out where you are willing/unwilling to be flexible in a relationship with a man.

Inquire to understand:

Really, same rules apply with men as they do with a new female friend, etc. Be curious, inquire, and get to know who this guy is. What are his needs, wants, and interests. How do they match up with yours?

Appreciate a different perspective:

There’s always something to be learned from difference. Men sometimes think women are too emotional. Women sometimes think men are too shallow.

There’s something to be said for each perspective: sometimes it behooves us to just relax and not react, just as sometimes we can enjoy ourselves more if we appreciate the simple things in life rather than look for the deeper meaning behind every action or event.

Learn how to complement one another:

Yin and Yang.

Night and day.

Men and women-same concept.

The world could not continue to revolve without the different perspectives. We complement one another.
Your job is to find someone who complements you. What are your strengths as a woman? What are your challenges as a woman?

As you meet men, learn about their strengths and challenges and how you might complement one another.

Now get out there and mingle! And, create or find a few affirmations/mottos to keep you inspired and confident. Some of my favorites include:

I am worthy! There’s someone for everyone! We all have a soulmate, but. We don’t just have one soulmate!

Sean McPheat is the CEO of The Life Coaching Studio
http://www.lifecoachingstudio.com

Laws of Success

Just as there are physical laws that govern how the physical world works, gravity, for example, there are also laws that govern how the universe works. Understanding these laws is critical to achieving success, learn them and work with them, not against them.

1. The Law of Perpetual Transmutation

Basically, this law states that what starts as energy changes into what is physical. Everything around you, everything you see, hear, smell, touch, or taste began as energy.

The vibration of that energy forms what is physical. Everything is in constant motion, and that motion is always changing. Energy can not be created or destroyed, just moved and changed. Our thoughts make themselves manifest in the physical world. In other words, what we think about, we bring about.

2. The Law of Relativity

The way we perceive any object, thing, person, or idea is always relative to how we see another object, thing, person, or idea. It’s the way we gauge what we see, bigger, smaller, good, bad, better, worse. The whole universe is designed to work together, with all the laws corresponding rather than conflicting.

All the laws apply equally to everything in the universe regardless of their size, strength, or awareness of the laws. Everything in the universe has its own rate of vibration, high, low, and in-between, we can only evaluate the rate of vibration based on a comparison with the rates of other things.

In your life, you see this law played out as you compare yourself to other people. You are reasonably attractive, right? Now, say someone enters the room who has entirely unfortunate looks, you feel simply gorgeous in comparison. But what if a supermodel enters the room next? How good-looking are you then? It’s all relative. The core of this law is that everything in life just “is”, our perception shapes how we experience it.

3. The Law of Vibration

This law says that nothing is at rest in the universe, it’s all constantly vibrating. Our awareness of that vibration is what we call feeling. Our feelings are determined by vibration, and we determine our rate of vibration by our thoughts and the paradigms we use to look at life.

You’ve experienced this if you’ve ever walked into an office or house where people were just quarreling. The tension in the air is thick enough to cut with a knife, and you instantly know you’ve interrupted something unpleasant.

Our thoughts consist of vibrations we send out to the universe. When we focus or concentrate on our thoughts, the vibrations grow stronger. Thoughts are the strongest vibration to move through the universe.

God created the whole universe, all that there is, seen and invisible from nothing, using thoughts and words. People are the only creation who share the power of thought with the Creator, and that makes us special.

This power to think, this gift of spirit, is what it means to be created in the image of God. Our thoughts and prayers are very powerful, affecting the physical world we live in.

Our awareness of vibration is what we call our feelings. We see what it’s like to be in a negative vibration when we say, “I feel bad today.” A positive vibration shows when we say, “I feel great today!”

Since vibration originates with our thoughts, we can control whether we live in a positive or negative vibration pattern. You use your brain to choose which thoughts you’ll entertain, it doesn’t choose a vibration itself. You’re the master of your thoughts, of your vibration. Your thoughts steer your central nervous system into the vibration you choose.

Your mind is a storehouse of images, positive and negative, whatever you allow to take up room there. If you choose to dredge up, examine, and review the negative, you will move into a negative vibration, negative feelings will immediately follow. The reverse is true, positive thoughts lead to positive vibration and a positive mood.

4. The Law of Polarity

Everything has an equal opposite, up and down, good and bad, empty and full. There is no such thing as a one-sided coin. No object has only a left side without a right side.

Because everything not only has an opposite, but the opposite is also equal, we’ve got an immutable law that we can understand. If you measure the room and find it is eighteen feet from the wall to the door, you’ll find it’s also eighteen feet from the door to the wall.

Seems pretty obvious, but the understanding of this law will really change how you look at life. Say something you think is really bad happens to you, according to the Law of Polarity, there must be something equally good about it, too. Mathematically, if something happens to you that you see as only being a little bit bad, the flipside is that there’s also a little bit of good in that, too.

Because of the Law of Polarity, you also get to choose your thoughts on every occurrence in life, is this a good thing or a bad thing? In reality, it just is. But you have the privilege of interpretation, you can choose to view it as a positive or a negative. From that choice, you set vibration in motion, determine your feelings, and ultimately your actions and results.

5. The Law of Rhythm

The whole universe moves in a repetitive rhythm. The tides, the seasons, day and night, we can count on these regular patterns to stay constant. If anything moves forward, something else must move backward; if anything grows greater, something else shrinks.

Every action causes a reaction, and results in a rhythmic swinging of vibration. You see this law at work every day in the peak and decline of your energy, the ups and downs that you experience, the way that our days are sometimes full and busy and sometimes slow and lazy.

It’s helpful to realize that our moods have a natural rhythm of ups and downs, and that even in the midst of a relatively down mood, we’ve still got control of our thoughts. Choosing good thoughts, even when we feel down, propels us into a positive vibration, evening out our emotions and keeping us moving toward our goals.

6. The Law of Cause and Effect

This law states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. What you send out into the universe comes back. Luck, chance, and accidents are non-existent. Everything in the universe is subject to universal laws, and everything that happens does so because it was caused.

We see the result of this law in the physical world, in our health, our bank accounts, and how people treat us. The way we get results we want is by working on the cause behind them. A changed cause must produce a changed effect.

One way to change your cause is to focus on it, using positive affirmations to point you in the direction you wish to go. In each area of your life, develop positive statements you can repeat in your mind regularly. These affirmations should be in the present tense, carefully crafted to focus you on what you really want.

7. The Law of Gender

This law describes how every seed has a gestation period. We see it in nature all the time, you plant carrot seeds, and can expect to wait about seventy days before the carrot is ready to eat. If you conceive a child, it takes about forty weeks for the baby to be born.

The same is true for ideas. They are spiritual seeds, and take time to become manifest. You must be patient when you plant a spiritual seed, an idea. It will show itself in physical form when the time is right.

Every idea that is given energy moves into the physical world. Everything in the universe has a masculine and feminine side. We see it in every person and animal, and even in the plant world.

The principle of both male and female in all things makes potential, regeneration, and motion possible. Both male and female are required for life to exist. This law demonstrates how everything comes about, how things change from what they were into what they become.

You may be familiar with some of these concepts, the structure and function of your mind, and the universal laws of the universe. Some may be completely new to you.

Understanding them is so important in the process of achieving your dreams, of living the purpose-filled life you were designed to live, of living in a way that is fulfilling and proactive.

If you’re serious about making changes, about winning in life, about living up to your potential and helping everyone around you to do the same, you’ll commit yourself to learning these Laws of Success.

Reflect on them, discuss them, and do all you can to comprehend them, teach them to others, too. The more aware you are about how it all works together, the more you can put these ideas and laws to work for you so that you’ll experience more success and less frustration.

Andrew Cocks and Terry Zambri are Certified Bob Proctor Life Success Consultants and Network Marketing Coaches. Their new FREE book, The Life Success Factor, combined with their exclusive 3 step marketing system is creating massive success for their team. Visit: http://www.TheNetworkMarketingCoach.com

How to Create a Winning Self Image in 4 Simple Steps

How do you go about building a healthy, positive self-image? One way is to model the beliefs, habits and behaviors of winners. Winners have a healthy form of tunnel vision. They make a habit of focusing on their infinite potential. Their present circumstances serve to motivate, or else are ignored.

Your beliefs about your potential point directly toward your self-image. Your self-image is simply your picture of yourself, of your abilities, of your worthiness to succeed, of your limits. Some people seem to come by a healthy self-image naturally; most of us need to work on improving how we see ourselves.

The great thing is that there’s nothing in the world that can keep you from improving your self-image. You can’t do much about what you have believed about yourself in the past or done in the past, but you have complete control over what you’ll believe in and participate in now.

What does it take to improve your self-image? The first step is deciding to consciously work on it, deciding to adopt a winners image.

Here are 4 important steps to follow to improve your self-image:

Watch what you say to yourself.

It’s amazing how we’ll allow ourselves to say things to ourselves that we would never tolerate coming from someone else. If the mean words that come out of your own mind about yourself came out of the mouth of a stranger, you might be hurt, but you’d certainly think, “This guy’s nuts, talking to me like that.” If the same mean words were addressed to your child or your best friend, you’d run to their defense with a big “How dare you?” on your tongue. We’ll talk soon about how your mind works, but let’s just say for now that it’s not discriminating in what it believes, if it comes from your own thoughts.

Watch who you hang out with.

Negativity is contagious, and gossip is a hard habit to shake. Obviously, if you spend time with people who are critical, who tear others down, you’ll catch it too - in two ways. You’re more likely to think and talk that way about others and yourself, and, those same people probably talk about you when you’re not around, too. Surround yourself with positive people, people who are seeking to grow and improve. We really do become like the people we surround ourselves with, so be particular.

Watch for the positive.

Because negative thinking about ourselves and everything around us is so habit-forming, it can really sneak up on us. Make a point of searching for what is positive, lovely, perfect, wonderful, timely, gracious, and good. Do this about the people you interact with and about yourself. It forms a new habit building, rather than destroying.

Watch your tongue.

Be very careful about what you say. If you catch yourself berating yourself, or another person, stop. Take a moment, turn around in your tracks, and go the other way. Guard your heart and your lips from speaking evil. People have enough catch-up work to do on their self-image from all they heard about themselves long ago without you adding to it and that goes for yourself, too.

As with everything you do to grow and improve, it takes action and patience to see results. This effort is completely worth it though, because your success in life can never exceed your self-image.

If you want more in your life it’s time to forget the past and start NOW to shape a new, winning self-image.

Andrew Cocks and Terry Zambri are Certified Bob Proctor Life Success Consultants and Network Marketing Coaches. Their new FREE book, The Life Success Factor, combined with their exclusive 3 step marketing system is creating massive success for their team. Visit: http://www.TheNetworkMarketingCoach.com

How to Inventory Your Personal Assets for 2007

Have you ever noticed how, at this time of year, there are lists and lists circulating? You can find a list of the 20 best films of 2006, the 10 worst dressed people, the 50 most interesting books. In addition to spending some of your spare time reading through these lists, how about taking some personal time to create your own list - of your 10 most important assets? It may seem unusual for you, a member of the Sandwich Generation, to concentrate on yourself instead of on the needs of the family around you, but allow yourself to focus on and embrace your own development at this pivotal time.

Creating your asset inventory will give you a leg up on beginning 2007 from a position of power, but how do you begin? To help you, here’s a short list to help you focus on your assets - not the financial ones but the personal strengths you own. Use this process to discover some of your hidden passions. Reflect on your answers or discuss them with a trusted friend as you create an expanded sense of yourself.

1. Writing your thoughts in a journal will help you clarify your thoughts and feelings as you look at all aspects of your life. As you begin to make an inventory of your assets, include what you have done and the value you have created in the past - as student, family member, career associate, community volunteer, friend.

2. Identify your strengths. What are some of your natural talents? What comes so easily you often don’t notice it? How about the acquired skills you have used successfully? Think about what you consider to be your greatest personal strengths. These could encompass, among others, attributes as diverse as a love of learning, a sense of humor, loyalty, an appreciation of beauty, the ability to love and be loved.

3. Consider how others view you and your contributions. Who uses you as a role model and why? What in your life experience has led you to wisdom? Honor this insight and find ways to share what you already know well - mentor students learning to read, become a Big Sister, coach a basketball team at the youth center.

4. Engage in an active process of getting to know your true self and what you want to do. What nurtures your creative thinking? What stimulates your curiosity? What do you really value and care about? What are your dreams and passions? What do you imagine is your life purpose now?

5. How would you like to share your “assets” with others? Your expertise can be directed to giving back to those in need, to the next generation, to the community, country, world. Begin to practice small acts of kindness - let the harried mother go ahead of you in the grocery line, give up the parking space to the elderly gentleman, smile at the sales clerk who looks like she’s having a bad day.

6. Just as you would calculate liabilities as well as assets when determining your financial net worth, you can look at the areas which you would like to enhance in your personal life. This provides a focus for your actions toward self-improvement in 2007.

After you identify your strengths and the direction you want to take, develop and follow a concrete plan of action. As the writer George Eliot said, “It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” Establish short-term objectives that will move you, step by step, toward the long-term goals you have set for yourself. Discover and create your personal vision for 2007 using your asset inventory.

(c)Her Mentor Center, 2006

Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D. and Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. are founders of http://www.HerMentorCenter.com, a website for midlife women and http://www.NourishingRelationships.Blogspot.com, a Blog for the Sandwich Generation. They are authors of a forthcoming book about Baby Boomers and family relationships. They offer free newsletter Stepping Stones.

The Importance of Percolation

Percolating over a creative process is not procrastination, though it may look like it from the outside. Percolating over a chosen creative project, happens at any point along the creativity continuum, from choosing an idea, developing plans, creating the product to displaying the project.

Sometimes you will need to take a break from your project, life events interrupts. If you have set up a break schedule, then you do not have to worry about taking a permanent break. Taking breaks will allow you to concentrate on other parts of your life, while your brain processes what youvhave just completed in your creative session. If you are prone to procrastination following percolation time, then set and share your goals with another artist. This will help you return to your creative work more consistently.

Percolation time can be short or long. An example of a short percolation time is when you write a portion of a chapter during your creative session. Take a walk. Start working on a new chapter at your next session.

Here are some fears that you may encounter as you experience your percolation time: You may doubt your ability to return to your original creative pace.
You may not be comfortable experiencing a strong positive reaction when you complete a portion of your project. You may run out of ideas. You may not have completed any part of the project perfectly. Others might reject your work, which means that they may be rejecting you. You may be afraid that once you stop, you would not be able to start again. You may feel too powerless to finish this project, so you decide to give up on the project completely.

What can you do when you feel too powerless?
Remember to: Listen to all of your reactions. Schedule a working personal break. Practice talking, writing, acting ,exercisizing or dancing. You may also pray out your feelings.

Put away your feeling work for 24 hours. Reread your feeling work. Choose one new idea. Write or pray about this idea for five minutes. Identify your feelings now. Create one new short-term goal for your project.
Take the first action listed to complete your goal.
Check in with your feelings, thoughts and physical responses.

If you experience a strong positive reaction, then resume your previous creative process. If you experience an ambivalent reaction, you may be experiencing natural discomfort of learning a new set of skills. This is a temporary situation. Resume your previous creative process as soon as you can. Finally, if you experience a strong negative reaction, repeat the exercise until your experience a positive reaction or decide to work on a different project.

Percolation time can be both exhilarating and frustrating. Discipline yourself to keep on creating your unique product, while putting your strong reactions to work for you as you put them in their proper place.

Lael Johnson is a trained creativity coach, writer and beader. She owns of Writer’s Eye Advisory
Service and Creations Beadwork.
She can be reached at: http://www.writerseye.com

Breaking Free of Bad Habits

Have you ever tried to break yourself of a bad habit? More powerful than a bad habit, have you ever tried to free yourself from an addiction? I have. Have you tried to stop many times? I did, too. I would swear to myself that I would quit and the next thing you know, I’d have an emotional moment or a drink and I’d break my promise.

That would start the vicious cycle of self-sabotage/self-loathing all over again. I would then find myself worse off (emotionally and spiritually) than before I even made the attempt to quit.

Bad habits and addictions zap our ability to move forward in life. Since this is the time of year for resolutions, it’s the perfect time to give it up!

So after more than 20 years of smoking, I finally quit. Sounds easy to say now, but the reality is far from it. Smoking took up way too much of my life. I couldn’t do certain tasks without a cigarette. I wouldn’t go anywhere without them. I made other activities wait until I went somewhere to purchase them.

I didn’t like the way it smelled and the smell was everywhere, on my breath, my clothing, my car, my house; you get the idea. The constancy of the odor became a metaphor for just how deeply smoking had become ingrained in my life, indeed, it had permeated my life. And the really crazy part about all of this? More often than not, I didn’t even enjoy smoking.

So like lots of other people, I tried to quit. Many times. And I always ended up smoking again. Finally, during yet another attempt to quit, I took a smoker’s profile test to see if I could find out what it was that attracted me to smoking in the first place. I learned from it that I was a social smoker, meaning that I mostly smoked when I was with other people.

This information was like striking gold because I saw for the first time how I didn’t have the courage to decline a smoke offered by a friend for fear that they wouldn’t like me anymore. Our human connection was partly bonded through our smoking experience; would there still be a connection if I took that bond away?

One day as I was having a smoker’s coughing spell, I suddenly heard the words of one of my mentors: “If you want to be a leader you have to give up the need to be right.” It was one of those moments when I knew I had heard a personal truth because of how it resonated in my soul.

I repeated the words to myself once again and decided at that moment that I had to give up my people pleasing ways because I saw clearly just how destructive it was. Not only was I risking my health by smoking, but I was also letting my perception of what others might or might not think about me be the barometer by which I made all my life decisions.

To this day, that moment remains an indelible mark on my brain. That was the day I decided to put myself in charge of my life.

That doesn’t mean it was all down hill from there. I still had the withdrawal symptoms to deal with. For me, the power of prayer took them all away. Solid scientific research has been done on prayer and the startling results showing measurable and reproducible benefits that can’t be explained by any traditional scientific understanding. 12-step programs also claim the belief in a power greater than self as the bedrock of their programs.

Not only is there documented evidence about the benefits of prayer, but my own experience with it makes me highly recommend it for help with letting go of self-destructive habits.

In addition to the withdrawal, I also had to substitute healthier activities for my old habits and learn how to deal with people being unhappy about my decision(s). Leaders make decisions. When you are a decision maker you must realize that many people will call that decision wrong.

Look at the president of the United States. No matter who’s in office, half of the people will disagree with whatever decision is made. Look around. Few people are willing to step up to a leadership position but they are the ones who endure the brunt of public criticism.

The day I decided to take charge of my life I stopped trying to fit in with the status quo. I became the leader of my own life. I decided that it was okay to make my own decisions, okay to be wrong, okay if others didn’t like my decisions, and okay if I lost a few smoking buddies as a result. What I gained was so much bigger than all of that. Plus, I haven’t had a cigarette since!

What do you need to be right about? What bad habit do you need to give up? Are you willing to give up relationships that are held together by bad habits? I AM!

Action ~ realize that you are a person of CHOICE, one who can choose to do what is right for yourself. Remember that even those who claim to love us have their own reasons for wanting us to stay in our comfort zone.

After you’ve made the decision to be the leader in your own life, pray. Pray for freedom from your destructive habit and strength to withstand the pressure of the void. You’ll be glad you did.

Diann S. Cannon, ACC is a certified Business and Personal Coach for independent professionals and small business owners. She is also a successful corporate speaker and facilitator. Contact Diann at diann@signalscoach.com or visit her website at http://www.signalscoach.com.

How to Win at the Game of Life

“The best way for you to get what you want,” said Jim Rohn, the success guru “is to help other people get what they want.”

If you can fully grasp this concept, then implement it, you will never lack for material abundance.

Do you need a striking example?

How about the richest man in the world, Bill Gates? Chances are good that you are using some Microsoft products right now. Why? It is because you need them. In fact, so many people needed what he provided that he became the richest man in the world. True, there are other products out there that could do the same or even better, and you may regard Bill Gates more as a ruthless capitalist than a humanitarian, but the point remains-he provided the software industry what it needed in its fledgling days and he never let up on the momentum.

Similarly, Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, and John Rockefeller became extremely rich because of the same principle. Again, it doesn’t really matter whether you like these people or not…that is not the point. The point is that they provided an essential service when people needed that service.

They helped people get what they wanted and prospered enormously.

You can do the same.

In any company, in any entrepreneurial venture, it is the service provider who takes home the money. The slackers, the cynics, and the rebels watch the prizes fly past their noses.

Although this principle is clear, few people do it. They are too preoccupied with slandering those who implement it and too bitter and angry about their own struggles to credit the principle. Sometimes, in fact, they are so jaded that they don’t even see the principle in action.

When you can provide more quality of service, more quantity of service, and more eagerness to provide the service, the world will beat a path to your door. And, of course, you can choose what service you provide. It has to be something that you love to do. The words “over-deliver” and “extra-mile” are used to describe this principle. You can start right where you stand and apply the habit of going the extra mile by rendering more service and better service than you are now being paid for.

Sometimes people are reluctant to give others what they want because they feel that they will have less for themselves. Sometimes they simply believe that they are compromising themselves when they do this and becoming either sycophants or ruthless. These attitudes are both completely wrong. When you do what you love, you express your own nobility by giving more of what you love to others. There is no question about diminishing yourself in any way. In fact, it is just the opposite…you expand yourself! And instead of being a taker, you become a giver…thus, your virtue, too, is improved.

Please note that it is not important whether or not you are the best. This comes through experience.

A major block has to do with believing that you are not able to do this simple thing. Why? It is because you lack confidence in yourself. This is a major stumbling block-not only in making more money, but in living a fulfilling life. If you lack confidence, it is because you have had painful experiences in the past that have created a distorted sense of self-worth.

The wrap up. If you want more money, you have to provide more people what they want. If you provide service in something you love, you expand your power to give, and rather than diminishing your value, it expands it. Finally, you must have total self-confidence to implement this strategy-because it takes a sense of unswerving self-worth to stay the course.

In the game of life, it is the team players who make winning possible.

Saleem Rana is a psychotherapist in Denver, Colorado. If you want to learn more about how to develop unshakable confidence, build up courage, improve your relationships, boost your morale, and live the life you want by going to
http://theempoweredsoul.com/SelfImprovementBooks/confidence.html

Learn How to Love Yourself

I’m sure you read a lot of times this sentence : you need first to love yourself.
But what does that mean? Is it about getting you a hot chocolate when you are cold? Is it about getting you a new dress when you feel like it? Is it doing whatever you want when you want it? Is it about putting warm clothes on when it’s freezing outside?

Loving yourself means to learn to treat you like a loving parent would do with his child.

When you are an adult, and I assume you are, you still have an Inner Child inside you. These are your emotions. At that level you still react like a child of 3-4 years old. Your emotions can not get older or mature. But you can get mature. You can learn how to respect them and how to handle them. You can learn how to take care of this Inner Child.

When you are not aware of your Inner Child, you try to live in an adult world like a 4-year old boy or girl. You feel all alone, afraid of the big nasty world there outside, not knowing what to do, where to ask for help, how to protect you. This is a very difficult way of doing. You will always feel afraid, fearful, doubtful, tired. It is hard to try to survive as a child in a grown up world. You will feel angry and afraid most of the time, and lost.

Why is that? Because nobody takes care of that Little Child inside you.
Let’s say your name is Charlotte. You are 42 years old. Inside you lives the little Charlotte. She’s four. When you are busy in the outside world taking care of other people, of business, of getting around, of doing a thousand things every day, the little Charlotte will feel overlooked. When you’re always running to help others, to make sure their needs are fulfilled, you will be exhausted every night and cry in your bed. Sometimes you will get temper tantrums. You will feel very angry without any reason (but still there is one, a big one!).

All these big emotions are attempts from your Inner Child to get your attention.
Imagine you have, besides your children, husband, collegues, parents, friends, a little four-year old girl named Charlotte. Nobody ever notices her. Nobody takes care of her. Whenever she tries to tell something and get some attention, you shout to her “Shut up!”. You say “I have to take care of my parents, my work, my husband, my paperwork, my friends, my other children, my house… I don’t have time for you!”

How do you think she will feel? What do you think she will do? First she will try to get your attention by showing big emotions. She will cry a lot, she will scream and shout, maybe she’s getting aggressive from time to time. You think you’re angry at the outside world, but it is Your Inner Child that is angry with YOU! She’s sad and angry because you don’t care about her! You act as if she doesn’t exist! Nothing is worse than acting as if our Inner Child doesn’t exist. This means trying to live as if WE don’t exist.

The worst feeling in the world is being unloyal to one’s self. Nothing is worse than this!

How many times did we ignore what we felt, to please someone else. How many times did we say to our Inner Child “Shut up, you are not important, the other one is far more important than you are, go away, I don’t want to hear you, I don’t want to see you”? Awful isn’t it? And we do this every time we let come the desire of the other one before ours.

This little Charlotte inside, what will she do? She will give up after a while. After trying a long time to show her emotions, she will give up. She will get very tired of all this and she will say :”It doesn’t matter, she doesn’t love me, she doesn’t want to take care of me, I’m not worth it”, and she will get depressed.

Of course you will think you get depressed because of others, because of your work, because of your children, because of your husband or parents.
It is nobody’s fault. But you have to learn how to take care of this Inner Child which is suffering from your lack of attention to her.

When, after getting depressed things still don’t change, there’s one weapon left to catch your attention : little Charlotte will get sick. Or she will get an accident. Maybe that way the adult Charlotte will learn to give finally attention to her Inner Child, which is as real (if not more) as a real child of flesh and blood.

You need to learn how to be a loving parent for yourself.

What does that mean?

First you need to develop an Inner Mother. If you were lucky and had a loving caring mother, you can take her as an exemple. Otherwise you need to invent, to create this Inner Mother, which is your feminine caring energy. Everytime you have an emotion, your Inner Mother should ask your Inner Child : “What happens, my darling?” Listen to what your Inner Child has to say. Than you go on with the dialogue. Inner Mother says : “Come here. Come in my arms, I love you as you are. I love you with what you feel.”
Doing that, the heaviness of the emotions will drop pretty much. Than you say these words : “I understand”. These words are very important, because most of the time we don’t feel very “normal” having the feelings we have and we try to ignore or suppress them, which makes them heavier. “I understand, my darling, come here in your Mothers arms, I love you.”
Stay with these words and feelings for a while, and than ask :” What do you need?”
Whatever the Child answers, you say : “We will ask this of your Father”.

And here starts the task of your Inner Father, who is there to protect you and to act for you in the outside world. You would never send a four-year old asking for a raise at work or getting to resolve a conflict at school or with the neighbours, would you? So why do you try it? Send out your Inner Father to take care of whatever you have to do in the outside world. Your Inner Father is your male energy, which enables you to make decisions, to take action, to follow your inner guidance (which is located in you Inner Child, also called Intuition) and to manifest your Child’s desires in the world.

When your Child has a need, for instance to call someone or to go somewhere to arrange something, imagine that your Inner Child stays at home with his Mother who takes care of his feelings (”I understand you’re afraid…”) and that your Inner Father (another part of your being) goes out there to act. Your Inner Father is that part of you which is able to handle stress, to take action, to arrange conflicts and all other stuff that has to do with the outside world. If that part is missing because you didn’t have a good model when you were little yourself, you will have to create and develop it.

Of course your Inner Child, Mother and Father are all parts of you. It is all you. It is just a model to understand what is happening inside you and how you can learn to love yourself.

Loving yourself is listening to your Inner Child, taking his emotions seriously, understanding what he feels and taking action in the desired direction. Loving yourself is having this dialogue with yourself every morning when you open your eyes, every evening when you go to bed, and every time you have an emotion.

Loving yourself is building a strong inner connection with yourself.
It is creating your own loving family, inside you. You will never feel alone anymore. You are already three! Call it your Trinity. Wherever you go, from now on you go with your Inner Family. Your are not alone. You are loved and you are protected. You listen to yourself and take care of that precious little Child that has been waiting for so long to get your attention and love.

This is inner healing.

Written by Ineke.Join the enthusiastics on www.theenthusiasm.com by doing the absolutely-to-do-once-in-your-life program to discover who you are and to learn to say yes to yourself! Find your passion and create your very own success! Reward : an everlasting enthusiasm! Two free e-courses offered!

Bring Love into Your Life

So many people are complaining about the lack of love in their life. They act as if some stranger decided one day to take away the love out of their lives. They hold on to lovers already gone since eternity, or they dream about a partner coming into their life to give them everything they are not able to give themselves. They balance between hope and desperation. They look for love outside themselves and believe one day a charming prince on a white horse will knock at the door and take them away to live for ever happy in a castle for away from reality.

Other people are trying to survive in a bad relationship that holds their greatness hostage. They live in fear and anger every day but don’t know how to get out of this prison.

Do you know such people? Does this sound like you? Do you feel lonely, are you dreaming of the right one who will show up one day and end all the misery you’re going through now?

The bad news is this will not happen.
The good news is YOU can do a lot yourself to feel loved.

Let me explain.
Life is like a building. There are a lot of floors : the ground floor, the cellar, the first floor, second floor and so on. The higher you go in the building, the more light there is, the easier and lighter things are, the more friendly and energetic people are, the higher are the vibrations and most of all : the more love there is.

Picture this building of life in your mental eye. In the cellar you will find people like rapers, thiefs, harassers, killers, people who beat their children or companion and others who made a life out of hurting others.
On the groundfloor you will find a lot of people. In fact most of humanity lives here. These are the ones who content themselves by vegetating instead of living. They don’t think by themselves, they undergo life. They do nothing. They live like robots. They go to their job every day, come home every day, watch the same television program every day with a beer in one hand and a hotdog in the other hand. They do not dream. They are stuck in their lifestyle and think everything will always be the same.

Then you go up. As I said, the higher you get, the easier, the lighter life is. Life IS easy, life IS light. The cellar, groundfloor and lower floors are creations from the human mind. We created these lifestyles by our heavy thoughts, thoughts about scarcity, fear, death, anger, sadness, revenge and so on. Here are the lives of those who choose to think low energy thoughts. Those who live in fear, hate, jealousy, doubts, low self esteem, troubles. Those have bad relationships, where struggle and anger and negativity set the tone. They are not happy. They maintain the illusion everything is someone else’s fault and they have either to wait for the other to change, so their life will change, or they have to destroy the other one to have a better life (think of the one who kills the husband of the woman he wants to live with, or those who kill other minded people in order to be free to live like they want). This will never give freedom or love.

So what to do if you want to move up in that building of life and live free and in love?

First you have to make a decision. Yes, you have to decide WHERE you want to be. On which floor do you want to live your life now?

Is it the cellar? No, I don’t think so. Is is the groundfloor? I don’t think it either. Let’s say you want to be at the 17th floor. But you feel you are at this moment in your life at the 3rd floor only. You hate your job, you have a lousy relationship with your partner, you’re in bad shape and your energy is low.
So you decided you wanted a life in the vibration of the 17th floor, where there is love, real friendship, positive expectations, inner strength, power, a job you like, health and wealth.

What to do? You decided where you want to be. What you will do now? Should you wait until someone will knock on your door to take you there? No way! Will never happen! Even if you would meet someone with an energy level of 17, he will never carry you from the 3rd to the 17th floor, because he will be exhausted. It needs to be YOUR decision and YOUR action!!

So YOU have to move yourself up. How? Read! Read more! Read how you can create your life by changing your thoughts and your behavior! Go to workshops where you can learn how to unleash you inner power. Use the wonderful information bank which is called Internet and which offers you a bunch of positive information and e-courses (often for free). Surround you with loving people. Learn how to love yourself.

So first you decide where you want to be. Than you do whatever you can to get there, on your own. You may ask help of course, you may find yourself a coach (which is really a good decision!) but don’t look for somebody to carry you. You will fall down immediately the moment he puts you down. If you didn’t get there by yourself, it won’t last, it is not worth anything because you moved yourself up with somebody else’s energy and you are depending on his energy.

Once you get at the floor of your choice, let’s say 17, you will meet automatically people who vibrate at this level of energy. Energy-17 people. Loving, caring, wonderful people. People who feel good about themselves and who don’t need others to steal their energy. They learned how to generate energy by themselves. They are not slaves. They are not dominators. They love and respect others.

Do you want to meet someone like that? Do you want to share your life with somebody who has a 17-energy (or more)? Go there! Go at their level and you will meet them, that’s a guarantee!

Move yourself up.

If you live in a bad relationship right now, and you do whatever you can to get yourself moving higher, you will see what will happen. Your partner, who is still vibrating on energy 3 or 2 or on cellar-level won’t be able to follow you and you will take separate roads.

Don’t make the mistake of trying to pull someone up who wants to stay at his low level. You will never succeed. Especially women should be aware of this : don’t spoil your energy at trying to get others moving up with you. It’s a waste of time. Everybody should decide for himself. Don’t carry others on your back, you will crack down! Decide for yourself, go for it, and see what happens. The higher you get in energy-levels, the better it will be. There you will agree with me : life is wonderful!

Written by Ineke.Join the enthusiastics on www.theenthusiasm.com by doing the absolutely-to-do-once-in-your-life program to discover who you are and to learn to say yes to yourself! Find your passion and create your very own success! Reward : an everlasting enthusiasm! Two free e-courses offered!

Activate the Energy of the Universe

Did you know that you can not create energy yourself? You can just activate the universal energy, which exists always and will always exist. This Energy gave you life. It’s always there, at every moment, for everyone.

There is no such thing like people with a lot of energy and other ones without energy.

The difference is that energetic people know how to activate this always available energy.
And the low energy people, they block this energy, which is although always available for them too!

Energy does not decide something like :”Hey I like this one so I will send her energy, and the other one over there I don’t like so he won’t get any of my energy”. This is nonsense!
The same counts for diseases. A disease does not “choose” a body to attack. How would it do it? Can you imagine a cancer saying : “I don’t like the way he cuts his hair, so I will attack his liver?” or “I can’t stand the way she talks so I will attack her breast?”

There is no such thing. It would be absurd. We have much more to say to our body and our life than we can understand for now or than we will want to admit for ourselves. Because to understand this is to take responsibility. Once we know that we “ask” for disease - by thinking of it all the time, by running from one doctor to another, by reading all articles about diseases in magazines, by telling our friends and family about all our pains and troubles - than we have to change our behavior and start to behave like a healthy person, who tries to understand why he got ill, and tries to see how he can change his way of thinking and handling to stay healthy.

It’s much the same for energy. Energy is always there. It never goes away, it never slows down, otherwise our whole galaxy would fall apart. The same energy which holds the stars at place in the sky, which makes grass grow and turn the earth on his own axis, is available for us. Can you imagine? It’s tremendous and there for us!

You can activate this energy for you by thinking the right thoughts, that is thoughts which stimulate you instead of turning you down, thoughts which bring you health instead of disease, thoughts which make you feel loved instead of fearing loneliness, thoughts which bring you wealth instead of poverty.

Is thinking about all this nice stuff enough to bring it into your life? No! Otherwise it would be so easy just to lean back and think about everything you want and floops….it’s there! We all would be fairies and make the world whatever we want without doing anything.

Luckily it doesn’t work like that! It would be dangerous! We need something else to make our thoughts create what we want : it is action. The combination of both will give us what we want : dreaming about what we want and putting ourselves into action, that is taking steps in the direction of our thoughts.

At each step we take, the universe also takes a step toward us. By our thoughts and our actions we activate this enormous universal energy to work for us. We make it move in the direction of realizing our dreams.

So the formula is pretty simple : first you dream, than you take action in the direction of your dream. This will generate energy to help you take the next step. The energy generated by this step will help you take the next step. And so on….

How do you know which action to take? Follow your guts, follow your intu

Think Success and You Will Have Success!

Those who fail, follow the laws of failure.Those who succeed, follow the laws of success.

It is impossible to reach success with a scheme of failure thoughts in your mind.

It’s impossible to have good health with a scheme of illness thoughts.

Your behavior is directed by your thoughts.
Thoughts of failure, disease, loneliness and fear push you into a behavior which leads you directly to fail, become ill, feel lonely and fearful!

You can deny this principle or fight against it, you can believe it is not true or it doesn’t apply to you, but you will never be able to escape from it.

These principles govern all creation, also the creation of your life.
The experiences of your life start in your head.
And it’s exactly there where your power lies : in your thoughts!

The universe will give you health, if you learn to think in terms of health, not illness.
You will have success if you think in terms of success, not failure.

Everything you think about repeatedly will manifest one day or another.

So why not think of what you want, instead of what you don’t want?

In either way you will get what you asked for! So ask for good things by thinking of
good things.

If you have an appointment with the dentist and you are afraid, do this : picture yourself in the dentist chair, visualize a great white light enveloping you, and say : “Only healing hands touch me”. Picture yourself there in the future having a good relaxing time, totally safe in the hands of someone who helps you to heal from a pain at your teeth.

If you have an appointment for a job interview, picture yourself there in the room. What clothes do you wear? How is your hair? What perfume did you choose that morning? Visualize yourself filled with confidence. You talk fluently, you are sure of yourself and your talents are obvious.

You have a visit from your parents? You’re exhausted only by the idea? Change your idea! Picture yourself inviting your parents, opening the door, being calm and open-minded, spending a wonderful time with them. See yourself talking with your parents, they are listening, you listen to them, you stay centered on yourself, you are able to stay yourself in their presence. You feel how you love them and you feel their love for you.

Try this! And see what happens! It’s all in the mind! It’s in our thoughts we create our life.
Even if you’re not conscious about this process, you use it anyway all the time. Every moment you have an idea in your head about what is going to happen. Or you think about something from your past, which you project on your future. You always have ideas in your head. Now that you know your thoughts create your life, which thoughts do you choose? Those who you want to see manifested? Take care of your thoughts, and the rest will follow!
Think success, act like someone who is successful and success will come, without
any doubt!

Written by Ineke.Join the enthusiastics on www.theenthusiasm.com by doing the absolutely-to-do-once-in-your-life program to discover who you are and to learn to say yes to yourself! Find your passion and create your very own success! Reward : an everlasting enthusiasm! Two free e-courses offered!

Motivators and the Forces of Good

Motivation is what drives us mentally, physically, and spiritually. We all possess our own unique motivators that may or may not be hidden from us. The key to achieving your goals is to identify what your motivators are and harness them for forces of good.

Motivational strategies

Most people find that physical activity is an excellent motivator. If you haven’t tried exercise before, it may be worth your time to see if it increases your personal motivation. Engage in activity that you enjoy on a regular basis to remove yourself from the normal daily grind. You may find yourself experiencing many “light bulb” moments.

Or if sweating is not your forte, try incorporating motivational books or music to your daily routine. There are many different types of motivational media available. Experiment with various methods to find what works for you. It’s a simple task since you can listen to CDs or books on tape on your way to and from work.

It is also very helpful to surround yourself with positive people. Positive people have a way of seeing the silver lining around every cloud, which in turn, can raise your spirits when you are feeling pessimistic. Positive friends can prevent you from giving up on your dreams.

Make it a habit to learn from your mistakes. Failure can be a powerful motivator to try even harder the next time around. Instead of making disappointment your worst enemy, make it a valuable ally in the battle against defeat.

Don’t be afraid to take risks. Fear of the unknown can paralyze you and prevent you from making any progress towards your goals. Identify why you are afraid and create ways to overcome it.

Lastly, swallow your pride and ask someone who you view as being successful, “What is the secret of your success?” Most likely, they will offer inspiration and insight that can help you realize your own aspirations.

A final note -

Once you know your motivational triggers, use them to attain every goal you set. You will find that different stimuli work in different situations, so try out several before settling on one. In fact, you may be the type of person that needs several motivators to get your fire burning!

We may set unique objectives, but the need for motivation is something we all have in common. Your job is to develop an inspiration that works for you!

Written by Cathy Warschaw, Director of the Warschaw Learning Institute. Offering online training, cds and eBooks for medical and dental offices. Newsletter registration at http://www.WarschawLearningInstitute.com (c)2005

Are You Still Complaining After Reading This?

People complain. They’re complaining all the time about everything. As a child, I was innocent enough to believe what people were saying. I really thought there were plenty of valid reasons to complain: the weather (most often), lack of money (runner-up), the neighbors, husband or wife, the children (me, in this case), civilization (or the lack of it), bad health, etc. I assumed the world just turned out to be like this and there was nothing much we could do. It was called “fate” or something.

The thing to do was to pray. Not to ask for a better life. No! I learned to pray to ask God to forgive me for my sins. I was a nice little girl, doing very well at school, polite with the neighbors, helpful at home, so it was rather difficult to keep finding sins for our weekly confession. But because human beings are profoundly sinful by birth, they told me, I had to go confess anyway. The nuns at school came up with a solution to help us out: they “prepared” our sins for us. Every Wednesday, on confession day, they gave us a pink paper with our “confessions of the day.” I remember feeling sorry for the poor priest, hidden in his little black cabin, spending the entire day listening to the confessions of 600 little girls, endlessly repeating the same sins over and over…

Growing up, I figured something was missing. Pretending to be sinful by repeating sins someone else had cooked up for me, that could not be what life is about. I refused to further confess sins that I had not committed. I refused to believe that I was the cause of my misery, and that I had to pray every day without things getting better!

When I was 26, I went to Africa. There I met my husband (he’s from Belgium) and together we had a wonderful time, with plenty of sunshine and plenty of money; circumstances people usually don’t complain about, right? According to my childhood logic, people only complain for a reason: lousy weather (too cold, too much rain), lack of money, etc. But what I discovered over there seriously opened my eyes! My “white” friends just went on complaining: about the weather (too hot), about the service (5 servants and still they were complaining) or about how things were too expensive - while they were earning 5 times as much as before!

I discovered there and then that the complaining was not based on any objective reasons. I also noticed that the black people, who were living in their villages with close to nothing, were not complaining. I got interested in this phenomenon: they had nothing except a big smile on their face, while we had everything and were still complaining! How could this be?

It became crystal clear to me that the complaints had nothing to do with the outer circumstances. It was an attitude, a habit. Next, I wanted to find out where this habit came from. So I examined the way of life of the local people and compared it with our way of life. When I finally came up with the explanation, it changed my life forever!

There are two important differences between them and us. The first difference is that they have a social network to help everyone in the village. They stick together. They don’t push out people who don’t fit the norm. In our society, everybody who is a bit different is sent to an “institution.” An institution is a place to collect those individuals who cannot follow the fast pace of society and thus fall out of the boat. Most institutions have great walls to prevent us from “seeing” that these people really exist. They look more like a prison than a shelter.
Who are these people that don’t fit in our society, put away behind walls so we don’t have to confront them? They are the disabled, the diseased, the dangerous ones, the mentally retarded or disturbed, those who are too slow (they go to special schools), too difficult to handle (they go to educational institutions) and those who are too tired and too old (we put them in expensive homes).

There in Africa, everybody stays in his own village and is accepted and taken care of (except the really dangerous ones, they go to prison). Everybody has a natural social network and access to help. You are not isolated from society merely because you cannot walk or because you are mentally slow. They stick together. I figured out that inner loneliness and isolation is one of the main reasons why we are complaining so much.

The second difference is that all of these people are connected to something “greater” than themselves. They have a strong faith in a god who takes care of them. They spend a lot of time performing rituals to please their god(s) and get good health and harvest in return.

I gave these two differences a lot of thought and concluded that creating social networks of people and a solid relationship with something bigger than ourselves, are vitally important fundaments of human happiness.

It’s all about “connection.” Connection to each other. Connection to the Universe. In the meantime I found out that good things can happen only when we stay connected to each other and to the Universe. I started studying the Laws of the Universe and spent a lot of energy helping people establish a connection to each other and to the Universe. In fact, this became the very purpose of my life.

Many people think they are alone, without help, and have to do everything by themselves. This is not the case. You are guided, you are loved by Something Greater than your little personality. Try to feel this connection. Take time everyday to connect to the Source. Do like the African people I was lucky to meet so many years ago: create a real connection between yourself, the Universe and people around you, without being overly dependent on others. You will never feel alone again and you will be able to spread a lot more love around.

Living this kind of “connected life” will make you forget about your former complaints. What’s there to complain about? Your complaints will be replaced by gratitude! Say “thank you” to the Universe for all the things you already have, and for all the wonders that may still cross your path. Express your sincere gratitude for all the love you have received and will keep receiving throughout your life. Be grateful for the clean water coming out of the tap by a simple gesture of your hand, while many people spend six hours every day to get a little bit of water, and others die of thirst. Be grateful for the light you switch on with a simple flick. Large parts of the world have to do without electric power! Say “thank you” for the variety of food that is available to you every day - a lot of people have to get by on one scarce meal a day, or are simply starving.

There is so much to be grateful for. I felt so ashamed there in Africa, at 26 years old, hearing my white friends, bathing in luxury but still complaining, while my black friends, who had close to nothing, were laughing, friendly, grateful and most of the time quite happy with the little things in life.

It’s all in the mind. Gratitude and happiness are an attitude, a state of being. It has nothing to do with circumstances. The attitude is gratitude.

Boost your life with enthusiasm! Find your passion, your mission on earth. Live your life your way, full of joy, abundance and enthusiasm! Two free e-courses offered!

The Six Pillars of Inner Balance.

Many people are building their inner balance and happiness on one single pillar. This is a dangerous situation! What’s going to sustain them if for some reason the only pillar they rest upon collapses? There are six pillars that support your inner balance. If you want to live a life of inner calm and peace, don’t just lean on one or two pillars, but make sure to invest in all six of them. When you are resting on six pillars and one of them crumbles, there will be no need for drama. You can still support yourself with the other five pillars while you start repairing the one that broke down.

Compare it to a table. Which one will be the most solid one : the one with only one or the one with six legs? Do you think a table resting on only one leg will be stable? Would you dare to put you cup of coffee on it? How do you dare to put your whole life then on one and only pillar?

What are these six pillars that support inner balance? Here they are in random order:

1. Your intimate relationship. A warm, supportive, nourishing and loving relationship with that significant other, will substantially contribute to your inner balance and happiness. Be careful, however, not to bet all your money on this one pillar alone, while neglecting the others! If your happiness depends completely on your relationship, then you are taking a big risk: what will you do when your partner is gone? When that significant other leaves, dies, or loves somebody else, your entire life will collapse because you have nothing else to support you. Don’t link your happiness to just one person!

2. Your job. A meaningful job where you can express your talents is a valuable source of well being. However, what would happen if you put all of your time and energy in your job, and then some day your employer dismisses you? Your world will fall apart and you are headed for a serious depression. Does it feel like you are married to your job? It is too dangerous to entirely identify yourself with your job without paying attention to the other pillars. You are much more than your business card!

3. Your children. God knows it’s a wonderful gift to have children. I have four of them myself and every day I thank the Universe for choosing me as their mother. But what happens if you focus too much on your children? A parent who lives only for his children will suffocate them. He puts too much pressure on the child, which then feels obliged to live up to the parent’s expectations. The child may feel solely responsible for fulfilling the need for love and affection of the parent. This is a burden too heavy for any child to bear, and it jeopardizes the child’s free development and individuality. One day the children will leave to start their own life somewhere else. If your children are your only pillar of happiness, then your whole world will fall apart. What’s left is emptiness, depression, dependency, and trying to make the grown-up children feel guilty for not caring enough about their parents. Don’t take your kids hostage. They are entitled to a life of their own.

4. Your house and material possessions. Creating and enjoying a beautiful house brings a lot of pleasure into your life, but what are the dangers of making property your most important life goal? When it’s all about having, buying and possessing “stuff,” the only guarantee you have is that of dissatisfaction. You don’t know how much stuff you need to possess before you will find peace, and therefore you will never find it. There is no end to “having”. As long as you are convinced you need to have things in order to be happy, you will be restless and a slave of your own attitude. Being rich is okay, of course, but it should not be a goal in itself, otherwise you are doomed to be unhappy, always waiting until you possess another car, another house, more money, more stuff, … Not a good recipe for happiness!

5. Meditation. Meditation is good, you say! Of course it is! But what if all you do is meditate, and hope everything will be fine? You will get not much satisfaction or happiness that way. You will feel useless and restless. Your body needs action, and your energy needs a goal to strive for, so that it can flow through your veins and direct your life. Meditation only will get you nowhere. There’s more to life!

6. Your friends. Good friends are essential. They are the pepper and salt that give taste to life. They share your experiences and make them worth living. They give you feedback and back you up when you need help. But what if you need to share everything with them? They have their own life, their own experiences to live. Relying on friends for every single thing you do is a ticket for disaster. You need to be able to sometimes do things by yourself. If your friends leave you or break up with you, and they are everything your life is built upon, then your world will fall apart.

I think you are getting my point: every pillar is good and a valid source of energy and happiness, but it’s dangerous to rely too heavily on only one of them. Leaning on your relationship too much makes you dependent on the other. Identifying with your job too much transforms you into a workaholic. Chasing after material possessions makes you a materialist. Relying on your kids too much suffocates them. Thinking meditation will fulfil all your needs makes you an isolated stranger. Relying on your friends too much makes you a needy person, always turning to somebody else for rescue.

You will however find inner balance in the combination of all these aspects. Every one of them can be a source of happiness, as long as you enjoy each of them with moderation. Do you have kids? Wonderful! But don’t forget to also invest some time in your relationship, your work, your friends, your house and your inner silence.

You have a good job? Great, but do take time to play with your kids, to spend some romantic time with your partner, to go out and have fun with your friends, to take care of your house and to meditate.

You are a meditation freak? Don’t forget to clean the house, to help the kids with school, to do your job, to meet your friends and to listen to your partner when he comes back from work.

You invest a lot of time and energy in your house and other material possessions? Fine! Just don’t forget to spend some time with your children, your partner, your friends, enjoy your work and meditate!

You are committed to freedom and friends? Ok, no problem! Now balance your life by taking some time to experience the inner silence, to play with your kids (or somebody else’s), to invest in a particular loving relationship (even if it scares you), to take care of your house and possessions and to excel at your job.

You love someone and that person loves you back? Great! Now don’t forget about your friends, your job, your children (or someone else’s), your house and your inner silence, if you want this relationship to last!

Imagine a peace temple, built on six pillars. If your personal peace temple is supported by one pillar only, then surely the first tornado that comes along will bring it all down! Too dangerous!
The stability of your temple depends on the support of all six pillars. If one of the pillars is temporarily out of service, nothing catastrophic will happen because you still have the five other pillars to carry you on.
If you lose your job, but you still have five other solid pillars to hold you up, you will find the strength to find a new job. Your children are leaving the house? No panic! You still have five other pillars to support your temple! One of your friends has let you down? Your significant other has left you? You have to leave your house? You will be able to handle all of this, if you can revert to other pillars that continue to support you.

Don’t build your happiness on one pillar, but invest in the solid combination of all six of them. Everybody knows about the importance of a balanced diet, as well as the danger of an overdose! In the same way, your inner peace depends on your ability to find the right balance between the six pillars.

Boost your life with enthusiasm! Find your passion, your mission on earth. Live your life your way, full of joy, abundance and enthusiasm! Two free e-courses offered!

Finding Love and Affinity in The Throes of A Change

When potential clients call me to inquire about coaching for their various life changes, I find myself asking them to tell me where they are right then. This helps me get a good sensing of how connected they are with their inner self and emotions.

A few who are able to say precisely where they are emotionally tell me they are ready to move on but feel stuck. Others are not sure that they are able to let go at all. While again some people simply don’t know what they’re feeling.

This is okay and in fact one of the most challenging things in times of a change is being able to determine your emotional parameter.

Irrelevant of the changes people experience, there’s a common factor. This is the amount of self criticism people heap on themselves. It’s almost as if people want to make themselves pay for their own pain and anguish.

But since flogging yourself or blaming others won’t benefit you except to keep you stuck, you need to do something different.

To shift your focus and stir away from casting blame, here is what you can do. Apply the most valuable tool you possess, the gift of love. Love is a natural balm capable of not only banishing pain and fear, but also injecting you and your life with new vigour. Love, when applied consciously can also imbue you with a new sense of purpose and direction.

When you find yourself going through a difficult change, simply Imagine to yourself how love springs out of you and takes charge of the situation. Ask yourself these questions and observe what happens.
1. What would love say here?
2. What would love do here?
3. How would love behave here?
4. What is the most loving attitude I can have for myself and others in this situation?

Here is what happened to an angry client whom I encouraged to apply these questions to her situation.

She said at first it was difficult for her to imagine the love emerging from her because she was extremely upset. But as she kept on asking the questions, she became calmer and was able to let the love within take over.

While moving from one question to the other, she realised that she had also contributed her own share to exacerbate the situation. Her “loving part” showed her what she could now do to make her feel better. She informed me that she never thought she would ever feel any compassion for the colleague who in her own words “stabbed her in the back.” And yet she did.

By the time she came to asking herself the last question about the most loving attitude she could have for herself, she had already gained deep clarity. She knew what she had to do and was prepared to do it.

One most challenging aspect of life changes is dealing with emotions of anger or betrayal. This can be very traumatic. But if you are prepared to take a step back and work with the gift of love, you might just discover the right tool to help release your traumatised emotion. This can also help you recognize your true affinity, which lies in the power to choose.

Are Limiting Beliefs Stopping You Reaching Your Potential